Those who pride themselves on their honesty should also concern themselves with this principle: The effectiveness of honesty depends on a person's willingness to face the truth, which may conflict with this person's desires and provoke denial.
In such a case, how can one promote this willingness, despite this conflict? The answer to this question could prove useful to anyone who seeks to be effectively honest with people in denial. Ultimately, it could benefit these people, whose denial is contrary to their best interest. I go on the assumption that truth, or the conformity of thought to reality, is the sine qua non of vital efficacy. Health, pleasure, successful careers, and harmonious relationships require that we know the needs and capabilities of our nature, and the workings of the world. The absence of this knowledge leads to accidents, illness, suffering, failure, and death. Therefore, the first object of our desires should be truth, or the knowledge of ourselves and the world around us. Why then are people often unwilling to face it?
I believe there are two reasons for this unwillingness. Firstly, the desire to know the truth, which originates in the desire to live happily, spontaneously degenerates into the desire to be right, to avoid the insecurity and shame associated with error and ignorance, and also to avoid the effort to learn. Thus fear, pride, and laziness are obstacles to the pursuit of truth and happiness. People are unlikely to admit they are wrong when they are, unless they possess courage and humility. Whoever takes their good to heart should help them develop these virtues.
Secondly, the truth may be known from experience about a happy way of life. The desire to know the truth then turns into the desire to see the truth last. Mental inertia becomes the law, proportional to the force of attraction exerted on the mind by this happy way of life. Any upheaval that breaks the status quo is denied: "I cannot believe it; this cannot be happening." Reality is deemed unreal because it no longer tallies with the desired truth. Denial can therefore be regarded as a deviant process that conforms facts to ideas, instead of the opposite. Reason is overthrown and emotions reign, as one strives to prove reality wrong to spare oneself the loss of a happy way of life and the pursuit of another, this loss and this pursuit being associated with grief, strain, and doubt, or even despair.
To help a person acknowledge an undesired truth about a radical change in reality, one has to couple honesty with wisdom to heighten this person's awareness of the human capacity for adaptation. This capacity is best illustrated by the example of people who have suffered a terrible misfortune and progressively discovered a new outlook and a new happiness, more enlightened and satisfying than the old ones. In addition, one has to stimulate the will of this person, who is left with a formidable challenge: to start her or his life over. Lastly, this heightened awareness and this stimulated will may weaken at times, calling for reinforcement. All in all, against the unwillingness to face the truth, the effectiveness of honesty is always difficult and uncertain.
Laurent Grenier's writing career spans over twenty years. During this time he has broadened and deepened his worldview, by dint of much reflection and study, and in the end has crafted "A Reason for Living," his best work to date.
Official web site: http://laurentgrenier.com/ARFL.html
How Healing The Past Empowers Your Future
Everyday I meet people who have a chronic upset that runs their lives, and I notice that they are not even aware of it. Often the pain has become buried in their unconscious; or if they are aware of it, they choose to deny any power to combat it.
Even the Smallest Sound
You are probably in front of your computer screen at this very moment, reading every word I have written.
A Bit Of Turbulence
Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 1, 2002
My name is Smarty Jones -- Embracing Gods Glory
Our deepest fear us not that we are inadequate.Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyondmeasure. It is our light, not our darkness, thatmost frightens us?..We are born to manifest theglory of God that is within us?.And as we let ourown light shine, we unconsciously give otherpeople permission to do the same.
Moment of Grace
The bedrock of the Christian faith is the good news about God's love. Christian teachings about who we are and about our relationship with our Lord and each other is rooted in the fact that God is love and that He loves His creatures. "And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him." 1 John 4:16.
Universal Thought Systems Language Part 2
Before we are able to use the Universal Thought System in a positive expansive manner, we must learn to use certain words in our language more effectively. The prime characteristic of the Universal Thought System is its consistency. It may not be used to manipulate. It may not be used to gain an advantage. It treats everyone equally. It eliminates the negative side of opposites. Why is this Universal Language so critical to our progress? In our thoughts and actions, we either seek idols or we seek truth. When we find the truth all our answers are provided. Truth contains all answers to every problem. Truth has always existed and will always exist. Our beliefs and feelings color our truth. They act as filters between our truth and our illusions.
There Must Be More To Life Than This
If you suffer from a nagging feeling of "there must be more to life than this", you're not alone.
Words Of Wisdom
Carlos' Words of Wisdom
Reach Your Dreams
About fifteen years ago I was rummaging through some old boxes in my basement when I discovered a stack of poems that I had written during my childhood. As I began reading, I discovered a long-forgotten world ? one that sang with romance, adventure, and mystery. It was a world of princesses, heroes, and castles, where the princess was always rescued and the dragon always slain.
Blasting Out of the Shadows: The Power of Your True Voice
First, let me share a quote from Ashlee Simpson's latest hit, "Shadow". Yes, I really am quoting Ashlee Simpson.
Songs of Life
I imagine when we die we find out how in-tune with our hearts we should have been. Not an easy thing to do with all our mere mortal vices getting in the way.
Trusting Your Genius Within
Comments about New Theories in the Professions and Business!
Withstand the Test of Time
As I drove home from work late one wintry afternoon, chilled from the freezing temperatures, I noticed the beautiful trees aligned on both sides of the road. Amongst the evergreens and the pine trees, one tree in particular caught my attention as it majestically stood, with its strong branches extending outward. This tree, bare from the many leaves that had once hung from its branches, daringly saluted the sky. I thought about how this deeply rooted tree stood year after year, withstanding the test of time through the altering seasons. I thought about how this tree stood -- regardless of the many changes brought about by the sultry summers and the chilling winters. Through all of the changes, through the bend of the limbs and the fallen leaves, there it stood -- through the test of time. Many times in your life, you may feel as though you've taken all that you can take -- that you have stood all that you can stand. You may feel like throwing your arms up and just giving up -- simply giving in. My friend, you are where you are today because of your ultimate strength to withstand in the midst of failing relationships, heartbreaks, getting no breaks, of so-called friends becoming your worst enemies. You are where you are today because you withstood all of those changes and many more. You are where you are today because of the many obstacles that you have already successfully surmounted. You are where you are today because you daringly saluted the circumstances, sometimes not even realizing how. The very strength that brought you here, will allow you to withstand your present circumstance. Don't throw in the towel. Don't give up on yourself. Don't give up on life. Just like this majestic tree, it is imperative that you are deeply rooted in your beliefs, in God, and in yourself -- so that when life-altering events come to weaken you, or to make you bend, you will daringly withstand the test of time. Attest today: I will no longer bend to the life-altering events that continuously come my way. I will stand strong, realizing that through my inner strength, and hope in God -- I will be like the majestic tree that withstands the test of time -- for I too -- am strong. Copyright 2003 by Audrina Jones Bunton. REPRINTING THIS ARTICLE: Permission is granted to reproduce or distribute this article only in its entirety and provided copyright is acknowledged. You can find other articles to choose from at http://www.purposefully-living.com/mailing%20list.htm
Nuthin but Blue Skies
"Welcome to Canada," Ken shouted to me over the roar of the rain and thunder. A constant downpour kept the photography workshop indoors. We slipped out during a break in the clouds, but as soon as we set up our tripods, a thunderstorm swept in out of nowhere and sent us scurrying back down the mountain trail to our cars. Since I signed on for this tour of the Canadian Rockies, everything had gone right.
The Priceless Gift of a Knee-High Smile
She was just over knee-high standing next to me in the checkout line. I first saw her eyeing a display of candy as she followed her mother and brothers through the store.
Moral Obligation & Responsibility
Chances are you have seen some type of disturbance in your lifetime. Whether it was a bully picking on someone or a piece of trash on the ground, disturbances happen daily on several different levels. Some people address them and others wait or assume someone else will handle the situation.
Garbage In Its Place
There is nothing worse than seeing garbage blowing down the street of your neighborhood, or finding broken shards of glass at the local swimming hole where children play. Wildlife is just as vulnerable to garbage and many have lost their lives after becoming tangled in waste or mistaking garbage for food. It is up to each of us to make an effort to minimize this unsightly, and sometimes hazardous, problem.
What Does it Take to Make Life Better?
What does it take for you to pay attention?
Imprisoned In Liberty?
Robert was so strong that I once saw him pick up and carry a refrigerator up stairs by himself. His strength plus his integrity landed him a job as a guard at a maximum-security correctional facility in a town called "Liberty."
Your Turn On The Holodeck
Good morning Roy, good morning Joseth.
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