Everyone Has Been Hurt...Part 2
Then onto my teen years. My mom had a few boyfriends back then. The majority didn't like me and my brother too well, but mainly my brother, I guess it was jealousy. Some were okay others weren't. Some treated us like crap, others looked out for us. When they picked at my brother, I once again became a protector of my family and especially him. Now they had to get back at me right. What was closest to me back them? My animals. So how did one get to me? He would torture my dog, all the time, beat him, kicked him, whatever he could because he knew it hurt me and I would defend my dogs as I would family. I got punished a lot usually for sticking up for my brother. My mom would get mad because we embarrassed her and would be upset. I had a lot to say about my mom but we have since made up and I really don't want to discuss that now.
My grandparents were like a second mom and dad for me though. We ended up getting new neighbors when I turned 15 and they had a teenage son. My aunt talked my mom into letting me date him, huge mistake and I mean mistake. I had no experience with boys at all. I had a very isolated life, no boyfriends or anything up to that point. For years I didn't even really have many friends at school maybe one or two. I was too shy. I couldn't even look most people in the eye, especially if they intimidated me. I force myself to do it now though regardless. I even got fired from my first job because I couldn't look at people, when I took their order, and when my boss confronted me about messing up orders I got fired when I refused to look him in the eye. Now back to the guy.
My mom gave in and let me date him. He was my first everything, and I do mean everything. Her never ever pressured me into having sex, but I was so naive I thought if I did we would get married and live happily ever after. I was way to innocent. I finally gave into him, in the back seat of his car, in the middle of a ball field. A month later he broke up with me and went back to his ex girlfriend. I was devastated I was completely heartbroken. Nobody knew about us and everyone began to wonder why I had so suddenly become so angry. I was angry with everyone and life in general. I was ashamed and completely pissed off It didn't help that he lived next door and I got to watch him and his girlfriend together on a daily basis either.
The next guy I dated , well we ended up dating for at least a year maybe two. . he cheated on me constantly. He cheated on me as much as I changed clothes and that was a lot.. I also got in a lot of trouble with him. I ended up running away from home. He ended up getting arrested when my mom found out I was having sex with him. My mom was going to send me to a girl's home but my oldest sister stepped in and stopped it. That was with the help of her(Mom's) new boyfriend, now husband. I ended up going to my cousin's house for about a month maybe a little less.
Now I was the rebel, the black sheep of the family. I was forbidden to see the guy anymore, but I snuck around and saw him anyways. My mom became afraid of me, and I felt like I finally had some control over my life. In reality I was more out of control then, than I ever had been. My anger was to the extreme. I would literally fly into rages and I cared about nothing and noone. I had, had my taste of men and If they could play I could too. Boy did I play. I never did sleep with a bunch of guys, no I felt I was to good for that, but I did have a few boyfriends and I learned to play games. I stayed with some of these guys for awhile a year here or there. I did hurt a lot of those guys. I did it intentionally too at times. I have since tried to make up for that, some of them I am friends with now, but I did play people and I am not proud of that.
The Power of A.S.K.ing
Have you ever had the opportunity to follow-up on a sales lead? Recently, I had such an opportunity to reconnect with an organization that I had been trying to secure as a client. Due to some new events and after multiple unreturned phone calls, I decided to ask for the decision maker within the department. After receiving the executive's name and finally making contact, I explained who I was, where I was from and how I could add value to their training request. A planned 5 minute telephone call turned into a 30 minute engaging dialogue where I learned even more about their needs and was asked in return if I had the experience to facilitate a second, separate engagement.
Alone But Not Lonely
In today's fast paced society, we've become accustomed to filling the eeriness of silence with fluff. We turn to many distractions as a means of escaping feelings of idleness or boredom. But the main thing we wish to elude is loneliness. Solitude does not have to alienating or lonesome. In fact, solitude and loneliness are distinctly separate.
Giving Can Overcome Language Differences
I recently had to take a trip to Germany. It has been more than ten years since making my last international trip. I now have a renewed sympathy for non-English speaking visitors and residents in the United States.
Why Are We So Lost? The Journey Home
Did you ever wonder how you ended up where you are in your life? Is life a culmination of a series of very carefully planned moves or a hodge podge of serendipitous events? Of course as we get to know ourselves better, our radar becomes more finely tuned. Our intuition develops and we become more secure with our inner knowing. We make better choices. Sometimes I think the journey would be easier if we had a map to guide us.
Healing The Abandonment Wounds
I have counseled individuals, couples, families and business partners for the past 35 years and authored eight published books. Every individual I've worked with has had some abandonment wound to heal, and most relationship problems stem from abandonment wounds.
Discover How To Make The Success Generating Imagination Work For You
The secret power of positive thinkers is theirfaith. And this faith is the power of God workingthrough their imagination. A sparked imaginationis a sacred channel through which God performshis great projects.
The story of the three bricklayers has been around for many years. The reason it continues to be told is the messages that the story tells. The following is the story of The Three Bricklayers:
The greatest achievements were obtained by those who took one step after the next. They resolved to succeed, and moved little by little toward a worthwhile goal.
Direct Answers - Column for the week of February 9, 2004
Naomi and the 5 Life Lessons
Not long ago, I attended a seminar that featuredNaomi Judd, half of the legendary country music duo,The Judds. Naomi, with her talented daughter, Wynonna, set the standard for country music byselling millions of albums, performing to 'sold out' audiences, and winning numerous awards.
Money or Faith?
I've been to 64-countries, and yes money comes in handy, and goes quickly (and is useful and has its influence), I've had a ton of it at one time or another and an ounce of faith, and I'll take faith any day-why? I'll explain. Anybody who has been in a combated zone, under fire will tell you: '?keep the money, I need faith right now.' In a like manner, when I was in the hospital, had a stroke that paralyzed me, a heart attack also, and bypass surgery, they said I was a Fruitcake. But three days later I got out of bed, and when I did, for three weeks they called me "The miracle of the ward." Even the atheist doctors were spellbound. Money walked away, as faith took over.
If You Were an Angel... What Would You Do?
If you were an Angel what could you do to make a difference? What would you do? To some this is an overwhelming question. The first thought that would go through many minds is " What I do wouldn't make much of a difference ... I am only one person." Get past that! Remember ... the question is if you were an Angel. Angels can be everywhere, be all and do all as they are messengers of God.
Two years ago I was in a wheelchair and told I would be paralyzed for life. Today I can jog on a treadmill. How did this happen?
Direct Answers - Column for the week of March 17, 2003
Making the Most of Your Peak and Off-peak Times
What is the most essential part of your business? You are!
Self Help When Youre In Debt
It's no fun being in debt.
Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 13, 2004
It is fun to watch movies of those with super powers. It sparks the imagination to watch their feats of great strength, lightening speed and great leaping ability. We can escape for a while from our dull routines, perplexing problems, and humiliating weaknesses. It seems that they have every ability that we don't.
Fighting Grief: The Time To Show You Care
The news came as a shock to us all. He who had been ill for days had been taken to the hospital. It was found out that he had very high amount of creatinine in his blood, resulting from a stone in one of his kidneys.
Neither A Borrower
Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 4, 2002
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