Trust Yourself ? The Hero?s Way!
Buying a VCR may not seem like a noteworthy purchase in a high-tech world yet it proved to be a worthy blessing offering much learning. Boxes filled with VHS recordings were unearthed from dark recesses where they had hidden for over a decade.
Replaying some old home videos for the first time in fourteen years eerily pulled us back to witness a much younger self - long ago left behind. One of our time-travels took us back to 1991 to perhaps the first workshop I publicly presented called "Being Your Best, Inside and Out."
There I stood, so very polished, professional, all-knowing; assuredly directing people how to think and present themselves correctly in order to have successful lives. Barely a chink showed in that professional armor.
Self-Help Sledge Hammer
I shuddered to hear myself assuredly espouse the latest personal development philosophies without fully evaluating how those words might affect others. I had not considered how people might feel after being told "You must do this/do that, strive for more, set the right goals, live with passion, avoid mediocrity, change your thinking, be a peak performer etc? to be successful."
How carelessly back then I said, "If you think you have a comfortable life, are comfortable with your job, home, family this is the death rattle. To be comfortable is a death. We must always be reaching for more?"
Now, through living a much kinder approach to life I know this endless striving for more is often a compensation for feeling inadequate - not good enough. Now I know that calling anything short of peak performance ? mediocrity - hurts us. This "self-help hammer" devalues our human journey.
The same night we were reviewing my past "self-help" seminars we were called to pick up our fifteen year old boy from a Friday night party. The parents wanted us to know they had found bottles of vodka and some kids had been drinking.
We managed to handle that volatile situation with enough love and understanding to hear the entire truth from our teen. (Quite a different story from the cover-up being told at the party!)
The Heroic Journey
Doing our best to be good human beings; loving our children, spouses, making a decent home and livelihood is a heroic journey! Any philosophy that intimates we are failures or are living lives of mediocrity if we work in a job that is not our passion is the antithesis of self-help. Perhaps the job is not our greatest love but often we do it out of love for our homes and families and in this, there is great honor and humility.
Of course, this excludes forcing ourselves to work somewhere that is toxic or making us sick. Nor am I advocating ignoring our dreams or the changes we long for. Rather, I am suggesting we put more trust in ourselves and our God for our answers than in latest "How to Achieve" philosophies or shallow societal values.
Our self trust grows the more we notice how we are feeling after hearing, reading or watching something. Do we feel a little bigger and better about ourselves? Or do we feel less-than if we do not comply with the message?
We need to look inside for our truth rather than blindly striving to follow the latest guru of the day. As our teenage son remarked about my canned "self-help" video given so long ago, "I didn't know you were one of those phony people who go around telling people what to do!"
To be fair to myself those workshops back then were an excellent experience for me, offered with good intention and some pearls. However, at that time I had not come to realize how damaging this continual striving and pushing to do more, be more, change more, is to our precious selves. Back then, I worked over-time to hide my feelings of inadequacy and mostly commandeered my world from my head.
Now, I do my best to live and speak from my heart? to live a much kinder life philosophy. So my heroic friends be kind to yourselves, trust your own inner wisdom, and know you ARE worthy just by being!
Teresa Proudlove has been inspiring, supporting, and guiding over 3000 people upon their career and life work path for over fourteen years - with compassion and heart. Teresa's workshops and writing, offer a deeper understanding and respect for ourselves, for others, and for our lifework path. This entrepreneurial woman also owned and successfully operated two women's retail boutiques for ten years. For over twelve years, Teresa was a well-read newspaper columnist. Visit Teresa at http://www.yourlifework.com; listen to your inner guidance and navigate through life and work with more meaning, acceptance and peace.
Thoughts Are Like Seeds - Are You Planting Flowers or Weeds?
"You can't harvest what you don't sow. So plant your desires, gently nurture them and they will be rewarded with abundance. " Vivian Elisabeth Glyck -12 Lessons on Life I Learned From My Garden.
Circles On The Water ? The Impact You Make On People?s Lives
When you were a child, or maybe even when you were older, did you ever toss a pebble into the water and watch the ripples that emanated from the point where it broke the surface? Or watched the effect of raindrops falling on a body of water? I have done these things and have since found myself pondering on this process, and just how much it can be compared to our lives.
The Priceless Gift of a Knee-High Smile
She was just over knee-high standing next to me in the checkout line. I first saw her eyeing a display of candy as she followed her mother and brothers through the store.
Starting A New Disaster Relief Program
I believe that it is an amazing time in our history. Mankind is truly showing his/her capabilities, they are observable because all thoughts are brought into physical being as symbols of thought. War and peace are physical demonstrations of thought. Disasters are also symbols of society's thinking.
H-U-G-S -------The More You Give----The More You Get!
How many of us couldn't use a hug on a daily basis----------well, when you get out of bed as part of your daily practice in the morning wrap your arms around yourself and just say "Good Morning----What a Great Day to be Alive!!!!"
What Legacy Are We Leaving Our Children?
Children can seem exhausting, annoying, wonderful, loud and funny all at the same time. They are a lot of work especially in the beginning years but what we need to realize is that they are our future so what we do with them in the early to teen years is important because they will become the leaders while we behold the golden years. How we raise them now affects how our future is in our later years and in theirs. When you see how our current situation is with illiteracy in schools, and crime, it can seem daunting to us.
Letting Go Of Perfection
"The power of discovery enables us to achieve excellence without having to be "perfect.'"
Psychic Sponge Syndrome: The Easy Inner-Centrifuge Remedy
Here's a nifty trick to use to clear yourself of any psychic "stuff" you may pick up as you move through the world. I learned the basic format for it from a woman who had the booth space adjacent to mine at a tradeshow. Being someone who had not yet mastered the art of being open-hearted without sponging up the energy of others, I was walking around like a zombie on day two of the show, after having been immersed in the circus of conflicting energies the day before . My booth neighbor asked me what was going on with me, as I was obviously not as radiant as I had been on day one. When I explained that I had soaked up too much chaotic energy and didn't know how to rid myself of it, she said, "Oh. You just need to spin it off." And I said, "Cool! HOW?!"
The Author Within You!
I always had an active imagination when I was young. I hated school, and would pass the time away day- dreaming about things I should not even have known about at such a young age. I used to make up stories in my head, that would always have me as the centre of attention, like collecting an Oscar for a Hollywood film that I had starred in, or recovering from a major operation or accident. I think I was like this because I was a shy kid who lacked a lot of confidence. It was no different when I started work.
Take Out Time -- To Just Be Thankful
While sitting here tonight, watching the conclusion of "There Are No Children Here," my heart pulsated as I heard a little innocent boy say, "When I wake up in the morning, I feel good that God gave me another chance to stay alive." This statement as innocent as it was, was true to him because of where he lived, and the lethal possibilities that he faced daily of being killed by someone's bullet.
Get Out Of Your Own Way
One of the biggest obstacles to our self growth and personal development is.................ourselves!
Do You Suffer From The Chef Personality?
As a chef I have a unique perspective on anger.
The Road Not Taken
Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 24, 2003
Such Love Transforms
Everything was arranged: once the funeral was over, all were to go to Hephzibah's house for the after-funeral dinner. It was the way things were done in Nain, typical of the customs followed by citizens of the Jewish towns of the Galilee.
Self Acceptance ? Lessons From My Hair Affair
For our diet and, indeed, in every aspect of our lives, we must remember to relax from the demands of the unrealistic ideal. For those trying to lose weight, you cannot be the Barbie. For those lifting weights, you cannot be the Governor of California. Accepting this principle first, can give you the peace of mind to love what you do have, lower frustration, and actually make weight loss easier in the long run!
Imprisoned In Liberty?
Robert was so strong that I once saw him pick up and carry a refrigerator up stairs by himself. His strength plus his integrity landed him a job as a guard at a maximum-security correctional facility in a town called "Liberty."
How Would YOU React To Tragedy Like This?
The true story I'm about to share will have a profound impact on you, just as it did on me.
Why Be Great?
Have you ever thought of what it would take to make you "truly great" at what you do?
I believe it's important for you to develop a mission statement for your life; one that is unique and articulates your values, goals, dreams; how you want to live.
Opening Hearts is as Easy as Opening a Window
Two-year-old Owen goes to speech therapy twice a week. The therapist's office is small and gloomy. There is one large window, but the shade is always down and very little light comes through. Each time we go there, I can't help but feel depressed by the atmosphere.
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