Self Acceptance ? Lessons From My Hair Affair
For our diet and, indeed, in every aspect of our lives, we must remember to relax from the demands of the unrealistic ideal. For those trying to lose weight, you cannot be the Barbie. For those lifting weights, you cannot be the Governor of California. Accepting this principle first, can give you the peace of mind to love what you do have, lower frustration, and actually make weight loss easier in the long run!
A few years ago while driving to the drugstore I watched a family walk across the street. There was a woman who appeared to be in her 70's with a thick mass of black hair flowing down her back. Next to her was another woman 40ish with a thick mass of black hair flowing down her back. And walking with them, a teen with a thick mass of black hair flowing down her back, and alongside her was a girl about six years old with a thick mass of black hair flowing down her back.
The teen was pushing a pram. I craned my neck and observed a tiny baby tucked inside ? no there was no flowing mass of black hair. But I could see little black tufts starting up and I was willing to bet what that would look like in the future.
I drove on to the drugstore feeling a bit gloomy. When I got to the store, I saw rows of hair beautification products. Products to pump up the volume, smooth, curl, add bounce. I had tried many of them in the past with maybe some improvement but not much. What I really needed was more hair. If any of those ladies walking would give me just a little bit of their hair I would really benefit and I doubt if they would miss it. I have baby fine blond hair. The kind that wilts in the heat, hangs limply in the rain and loses its style quickly.
Later that week, I happened to catch the talk show Maury. Women were on the show complaining about their hair. One young African American lady caught my attention. About 14 years old, she had wiry black hair. It sprouted out from her head and went all over the place. She cried as she told Maury that she had not had a comb in her hair in years because it got all tangled. I was shocked as she told Maury that insects landed in her hair and stayed there. And I thought I had problem hair.
After watching the show, I started thinking about my hair and instead of viewing it as a problem I decided to focus on the assets. Ok my hair was very fine ... but that meant a couple minutes with the blow dryer was all it took to dry it. My hair grew very slowly ... but that meant I saved money when I got highlights because it took them forever to grow out. Also I would never have to pay for an "UPDO" because there was not enough hair to do up!
I thought about my struggle to have long hair. My dream hair was a long, shiny mane. I had given that idea up long ago and decided to settle for a chin length bob. But that wasn't working out either. My hair looked flat and drab.
It was the same with my fingernails. I wanted medium length nails but nail products and calcium weren't producing results. Right then and there I decided to ACCEPT what I had and work with it to make life SIMPLE and ENJOYABLE. Instead of fighting my genetic code I would work with it.
Next stop the hairdresser. I had my hair cut off to a very simple bob that hit just below the ear. On "good hair days" I could wear it over the ear. And on bad ones or when I got caught in the rain, I could slick it back behind the ear. Highlights to give it body and more shine were added and I purchased products that while they don't work miracles they were suitable for my hair.
Next I threw out all my nail hardeners. They might work for other people but they weren't working for me. I filed my nails down to a simple, blunt length. I purchased a very good file and a chamois buffer. If I paint them I will use clear or a pale pink. But usually they are just buffed to a healthy glow. No more struggle with the nails. Wow!
It's amazing how good it feels and how much simpler our lives become when we accept what we have and work it to our advantage. Think about what you have, that you struggle to change. Is it something you can change or is it something that you can't. Life is so much easier when you work with what you have.
Indeed, no one is going to mistake me for the Breck Girl or the lady in the Herbal Essence Shampoo commercial. But that's ok because I enjoy my hair and nails now and that's what matters!
About The Author
Lee Mellott is the webhost for The PATH Weight Loss: www.fatfallacy.com. She holds a Masters degree in Education from Hood College. Born in England, she spent most of her childhood in France and Germany. Lee resides with her husband Rusty and their two daughters Katie and Jessica in Maryland.
Beautiful Day Blues
The massive orb dominates the aqua crystalline backdrop of its own making, floods its rays on everything below. The sky devoid of a single cloud seems as empty as I feel and the beach looks like an arid desert, molded by tireless wind and blazing heat. I picture myself atop an Arabian camel, parched with thirst, crossing an unforgiving series of never-ending dunes, up one and down the next, no rhyme nor reason, only the nose of the animal in front of me.
Anamchara - Making Sense of Life
Many successful persons advise you start your day with a list of what you intend to do and achieve during your day. This is extended to include a week. It moves forward at specified time intervals until you advance through the years and the decades.
Directions For Life
Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully. Memorize your favorite poem. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want. When you say, "I love you", mean it. When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye. Believe in love at first sight. Never laugh at anyone's dreams. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely. In arguments, fight fair. Talk slow but think quick. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk. Call your mom. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze. Don't let a little disagreement ruin a great friendship. When you realize you've made a mistake, act immediately to fix it. Marry someone you love to talk to. As you grow old together, your ability to communicate will be more important than their physical attributes. Spend some time alone. Open your arms to change, but don't let go of your values. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer. Read more books and watch less TV. Try your best to create a loving atmosphere in your home - this is a vital factor that will contribute significantly to your children's happiness and your family's harmony. In disagreements with loved ones, deal with the current situation. Don't bring up the past. Read between the lines. Share your knowledge. It's a way to achieve immortality. Be gentle with the earth...and yourself. Pray. There's immeasurable power in it. Don't trust someone who doesn't close their eyes when you kiss them. Once a year, go someplace you've never been before. If you make a lot of money, put it to use helping others while you are living. That is wealth's greatest satisfaction. Remember that the best relationship is one where your love for each other is greater than your need for each other. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it. Do not forget that your character is your destiny.
It is hard to capture the synchronicity of this next post. I can only assure you that I was working on integrating these things for this book and this post from a healer came through in answer to my directed thought or intent-ional request. Intent is a vital element of magical operations. Here is my response to this post I believe helped me integrate these thoughts.
About Self Love
1. How do I love myself?
Your World Your Way - Trusting Yourself In Business
"It doesn't interest me who you are, or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the centre of the fire with me and not shrink back."
Unconditional Love is Absolute Freedom to Screw Up Your Life
In my lifetime, I have never witnessed enduring unconditional love from another human being. I do not believe it is physically possible. I think that once we have reached that position of being able to give it, we have already passed over to join with the one that is unconditional love. I believe that this state is only experienced spiritually.
The Nature of Anger
Excerpt From The Relationship Handbook: How to Understand and Improve Every Relationship in Your Life by Kevin B. Burk
World Kindness Day
Once upon a time, in ancient India, a beggar favored a certain foot of land in a village square. He wanted to be rich, but he only knew dire poverty. One day he died on the spot where he had been begging for decades. The villagers decided to bury him on the spot where he had spent decades begging. They marveled when they found that only a few feet beneath the surface lay a treasure chest from an ancient kingdom.
You Can Make a Difference
When I study of world these days, I see a lot of despair, and hopeless. There are countless problems that our society faces such as war, the degradation of the environment, and crime
Using Appreciation to Make a Difference
When in 1996 a local Secondary School opened, the staff decided to create a tradition to prepare Christmas Hampers for those in need. Each advisory class (of around 18 students G9-12) would adopt a family to help out. The students only know how many in the family, ages of the children, and whether they have any food allergies. Every year, 65 ?70 hampers are delivered to families. Inside each hamper is a note from the school principal wishing the family a Merry Christmas and a healthy and happy new year. It explains how the hamper was put together by the students and adds (I quote) " We hope that this hamper will bring you joy at this special time of year as it was put together with much love and care"
Its The Little Things That Count
Have you ever been in the situation where you have become so focussed on achieving a goal that you have done so at the detriment of everything else in your life?
How Would YOU React To Tragedy Like This?
The true story I'm about to share will have a profound impact on you, just as it did on me.
The Red Ribbon
Everyone wants a blue ribbon. Blue. First place. The best. Even kindergarteners want that blue ribbon. In sports, I was never a blue-ribbon person. In a race I was always last. In baseball I was as likely to get hit on the head as to drop the ball. In basketball I was fine as long as there weren't nine other players on the court with me. Where I got my horrible sports ability, I don't know, but I got it. And I got it early.
Struggling With Addictions
What kind of bad habits do you struggle with? Most people think that when they come to Christ that their bad habits will magically disappear. And some church people act like if you have any bad habits in your life that you must not truly be saved, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Christians or not, we are all people, and people make mistakes. People have bad habits.
The Most Powerful Question Ever Asked?
What if every experience in your life is sent to you so you can understand who you are and what your life is all about?
Quitting Before It Even Starts
Most people give up just when they're about to achieve success. They quit on the one yard line. They give up at the last minute of the game, one foot from a winning touch down. --Ross Perot
If I Hurt You, Then Im Sorry
This statement has stopped many a war in my house. My oldest two children are two years apart in age and would fight about everything and nothing when they were little. One would anger the other and then deny that it ever happened. One would accidentally harm the other during play and not want to accept responsibility for the other's anger. Seldom did a day pass by that one of them wasn't screaming at the other for some horrible crime. It never failed when I would be brought in to mediate, they'd both claim they were innocent and the other was bad. How many times did one of them try to convince me that the other was lying and just trying to frame them for a crime they didn't commit. What's a parent to do?
Commitment To The Journey
I have been a business owner for about a minute. In fact, that would probably be quite generous if you compared me to the business moguls out here or anywhere for that matter. But in spite of that fact, I probably know a lot about business, more than I realize and much more than you would expect, if you knew my background. It is my life as a business owner that has finally made sense of all the data and observations that I have gathered over the years. I spent 20 years of my life working for others, most unknown, some infamous.
Top 20 Love Quotations
"In real love you want the other person's good. In romantic love, you want the other person." -- Margaret Anderson
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