Everyone Has Been Hurt..... Part 5
About a year later I met my husband. I met him through his youngest sister and we were inseparable. We began to fight a lot after his ex started coming in to the picture and I could not handle it. She was a pain in my ass. She was always at his house for special occasions and for holidays, always in my life, always in his and nobody seemed to get it. I got pregnant again and made it to 4 and half mths and its heart stopped and I had to have surgery again. I went through that by myself. He wasn't there and I resented that but I still wanted to be with him.
A few years later pregnant again. It was in the tubes ,had to have the tube and baby removed, lost that one. He was very upset about that one. The doctor said stop, quit trying. I went home and prayed. We got married in between those times. I prayed and I prayed, "God, just give me a son and I will never ask for another child again". About 6 mths later my wish and prayer was answered. I knew I was pregnant before I even had the test, and I knew it would be a boy and everything would be ok. I also knew he would be born at Christmas time.
God blessed me with a son, I believe I had him at Christmas to heal my heart and to allow me to enjoy the holidays again. I am eternally grateful and I kept my promise. Back to my husband. I always felt like I wasn't good enough for him, like I was second to him, that he really wanted the ex and since he couldn't have her I would do. I felt like I pressured him to get married because I said if you don't I will leave you. We had been together for 4 yrs and I had wasted enough time. It was time to move forward. After all that we ended up having all that trouble and I feel like I stayed for along time because of Dakota. I wanted him to be happy and have a family, to not have the life I led.
I love Dakota with all of my heart. I want him to be happy. My biggest fear was not being the mom he needed me to be. The best I could do may not be good enough. I always felt if I do nothing else right this will be the one I get right. But I doubted myself constantly. I didn't know what the right decisions were at the time. We ended up getting a divorce.
Inspirations: Some Other Things Ive Noticed Along the Way So Far
Some people live in and talk about the past so much it's as if they are "planning for the past."
Imagine How Different The World Would Look Just By Knowing What Type of Learner You Are
Are you a listener or a writer type of learner?
7 Keys for Joyful Living!
Here are some thoughts for finding and experiencing joy in your life. Ifthere were one thing I could wish upon my family, friends and the readers ofthis Ezine, it would be joy in everything they do!
Trusting Your Genius Within
Comments about New Theories in the Professions and Business!
Have You Ever Felt GOD in You?
God is the primordial Creative Force that is believed to have created each atom that we see around us. When you sit and muse, have you ever heard a voice inside you talking to you? That is the voice that is in you, whom you may also call GOD.
Once in a Lifetime
A subscriber recently wrote to me and asked me to consider this common phrase ? Once in a lifetime.
Top 15 Inspirational Quotations
Get inspired and lift your spirits with these positive quotations that will surely stimulate your soul and perhaps motivate your mind...
My friend Donald said to me one evening, "this is what I admire about you, whenever you say you're gonna to do something, YOU DO IT"! People always ask me how do I stay motivated? How do I stay encouraged? Whenever I am asked this question my answer is always the same. I tell them that I stay focused and motivated by remaining in an autopilot mode. However, when I ponder that question on a deeper spiritual level, I come to the realization that the true answer is much more involved than the "auto-pilot" response. Would you like to know what the real answer is? Keep reading.
5 Tips To Add More Spice To Your Life
1. Once a week, visit somewhere you've never been before. A city, town or village, a museum, a theater, a restaurant, café, or bar, a park, a zoo, a wood or forest ? get the idea? Visiting new places broadens your horizons and helps to keep life fresh and interesting.
What an Artist Experiences When Working With the Angels
I am an Angel artist on a passionate spiritual journey and I would like to share my story of what it is like to work with the Angels. It is a unique experience and very real.
How to Overcome Loneliness
Nowadays the majority of people live in very large cities. It is hard to imagine that in cities of millions of people that anyone could feel lonely. However, it is because of the huge size of the cities that we do feel this way. Twenty years ago, you probably knew everyone who lived in your street, at least by sight. Now you are lucky if you know your next-door neighbors.
For Inspiration Watch a Kite Fly Against the Wind
Given a steady wind and a properly balanced kite, the kite will soar to great heights. But if the nose of the kite is pointed downward, the same wind will send it crashing into the ground.
A Pre-existing Condition
Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 2, 2002
Your Self-Image - How Is It Working for You?
"All that you desire or require is already on your pathway, but you must be wide awake to your good to bring it into manifestation." - Florence Scovel Shinn
What We Believe We Create - Love is the Creation
I once was told by the Angels that our concept of Love would fit on the head of a straight pin and the size of the Universe and more is the love that is felt for us by God and the Angels. If this is so, and I believe that it is ... just think of what we can create if we allow our concept of Love to grow ... to encompass it ... to become it.
Top Ten Ways to Retire Retirement
1. Retire the word "retirement" from your vocabulary. Look it up: it means to "withdraw" or "retreat." Words can shape reality, and it's time for this one to go. Doesn't "renaissance" or "graduation" better describe your post-career life?
Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 24, 2002
Walking The Walk
Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 14, 2003
Psychic Sponge Syndrome: The Easy Inner-Centrifuge Remedy
Here's a nifty trick to use to clear yourself of any psychic "stuff" you may pick up as you move through the world. I learned the basic format for it from a woman who had the booth space adjacent to mine at a tradeshow. Being someone who had not yet mastered the art of being open-hearted without sponging up the energy of others, I was walking around like a zombie on day two of the show, after having been immersed in the circus of conflicting energies the day before . My booth neighbor asked me what was going on with me, as I was obviously not as radiant as I had been on day one. When I explained that I had soaked up too much chaotic energy and didn't know how to rid myself of it, she said, "Oh. You just need to spin it off." And I said, "Cool! HOW?!"
Spirits Language: How to Tell Whos Who in Your Inner Conversations
Your Spirit is continuously beaming communications to you. As long as your mind is properly receptive to your Spirit, this vital communication is received. But if your mind is busy being distracted by its fascination with the world that serves the ego, or by the fear-based broadcasts of the lower self, the communications are not received-or the signals are fuzzy at best. Like a radio broadcast that takes place regardless of who is listening, your Spirit is constantly broadcasting to you, but you can only receive that broadcast if your radio is tuned to the right station and you are paying attention.
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