Stress Management: Are You a Diamond or a Lump of Coal?
"Do you want to be a lump of coal or do you want to be a diamond?" That's the first question I ask to begin my stress management seminar called "A Diamond is Nothing More Than a Lump of Coal That Handled Stress Very Well."
We seem to have some interesting misconceptions about the stress in our lives. The most common is that stress is something to be avoided at all costs, and true happiness comes from being totally stress free.
That's just not true in the real world. If you don't believe me, check out the results of a study conducted into the effects of stress on performance. In the study, subjects were instructed to watch trains pass at a crossing and to write down a five digit number on the side of the train. At first the trains came by slowly, then continued to speed up until the numbers were just a blur going by. The researchers then counted the number of errors in copying down the numbers on the train. Here's the results - when the trains were going very fast, there were many errors, as might be expected. The interesting thing is that there were just as many errors when the trains were going by slowly. The best scores were when the trains were going by at a moderately rapid rate.
One of the lessons for us in this study is that a certain amount of stress, managed properly, not only does not harm us, it's necessary for optimum performance.
Back to the question with which I started this column - "Do you want to be a lump of coal or a diamond?" There are questions, beliefs and actions that go along with being a lump of coal, and there are questions, beliefs and actions that go along with being a diamond. Let's take a closer look at each of these categories.
Lump of Coal Questions and Beliefs
Why does this always happen to me? A good victim question that takes away all your power to do anything about the situation.This shouldn't be happening, it's not fair! Another victim belief. Same result - no power or strength fo change.If it's stressful, I shouldn't do it. Then you may not do much, because stress is an indication that you are still alive.
Lump of Coal Actions
Giving up. The worst thing we can do when dealing with stress. An old quote helps us understand why we do this - "when you're up to our posterior in alligators, it's difficult to remember your original intention was to drain the swamp!"
Taking it out on others. Stress seems to roll down hill onto the other people around us.
Becoming "stressed out". Becoming stressed out freezes our creativity and sense of humor, and leaves us stuck.
Diamond Questions and Beliefs
How can I make this work for me? Another old quote applies here - "when life hands you lemons, the only winning choice is to make lemonade." While that my sound too nice and easy, think about it for a moment. Simply asking the question "how can I make this work for me?" opens up our mind to the possibilities and creative choices available to us.
I can handle it. When it comes to handling stress like a diamond, this "the phrase of champions." An even better phrase is "in how many ways can I handle it and enjoy the process."
Living a life of fulfillment and purpose. Managing stress well allows you to live a life well lived.
Confronting stress head on. Seeing stress as a challenge allows us to be proactive and creative in designing a "diamond life."
Making stress work for you. The number one way to make stress work for you is to take action. Taking action allows you to sharpen your skills and become a diamond. Now, just to be clear - am I saying that stress is always good for you? Of course not. There are certain types of stress as well as certain times in our lives when the healthiest thing to do is remove ourselves from the source of stress.
Am I saying that there are ways to handle the stress in our lives that can make it work for us, that allow us to thrive instead of just survive? You bet I am!
A lump of coal or a diamond. Which will it be for you?
Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
Minimize Stress in Your Life
Use these simple tips to minimize stress in your day to day living.
Let Go of Stress: Slow Down! Survive!
Don't wait to have a life-threatening disease to learn what I learned. When you think you'll die from cancer in six months you wonder why you've spent so much of your life rushing to get more done. At least I did. Let me explain: I grew up believing that I'd be loved, or not, because of what I did and that belief drove me to constantly try to please people.
Shit happens. I know this to be a fact, because I read it on a t-shirt. ;-)
Stress Management Techniques
Self Indulgence: It Isn?t Just About Chocolate
It's no secret that we women, by virtue of our genetic make-up I suppose, seem to feel it is necessary to be superwomen-simultaneously balancing the demands of managing a home, caring for children and aging parents, and usually working in a demanding profession. This syndrome, which was first labeled in the 1980s, continues 20-some years later despite zillions of articles and talk shows discussing it.
The Benefits of Eating from a Jar of Honey
June is the month of the honey moon. Custom holds that this is the best time to harvest honey from the hives. In some traditions, honey symbolizes love and fertility. During the first month of married life, newlywed couples were fed food and beverages containing honey to encourage love and fertility. Today, we honor this tradition in the name given to the "honeymoon" which is celebrated immediately after the wedding ceremony.
Worry: Is It Worthwhile Work or a Waste of Time?
As tools for change are discussed, one tool - that you might not have thought of - attains a unique status. That tool is WORRYING. Yes, worrying. Most of us wish we worried less. But worrying might be a good thing, not necessarily bad. It's a brain mechanism that weighs alternatives. Even though by definition worry is one of the processes that weighs possible outcomes and consequences (usually with emphasis on the negative), nevertheless it's a decision making tool.
Stress Relief for Busy Business People - 11 Easy Ways
Make stress less of an issue for you in your work and life, by trying out one or more of these ideas - the list is not exhaustive! Seek out more and share!
Empowerment for Highly Sensitive People: Part 1
Are you a person who has a keen imagination, a deep inner life, and vivid colorful dreams? Do you need time alone on a regular basis? Do people who know you say you are "too sensitive"?
Stress Relief in Minutes
For those who are suffering from stress, just about the hardest thing to find is stress relief. Stress can often continue itself on its own energy and, as it mounts up upon itself, it builds itself into an absolute mental frenzy. Unfortunately, this sort of mental frenzy is ultimately counter-productive and leaves the mind so frenzied that it cannot actually take care of whatever is causing the stress. Thus, stress relief is a way to help the mind attend to the necessities of life.
How Stressed-Out Are YOU?
Are you feeling stressed out? Too many things to do, too little time? One more thing added to the To-Do list and you feel like you'll explode?
7 Tips to Relieve Stress At Work
Do you feel stress at work? Do you carry your stress home with you at night?
Stress Management and Mastery: Practicing Perspective
Q. I wonder if you could help me with a problem that just seems to be getting worse. I seem to blow everything out of proportion. I react so strongly to even small problems and always think the worst is going to happen. My friends tell me I do it, my husband tells me, and I know I do and I'm tired of it.
Technology and Stress- How to Prevent Technology From Taking Over Your Life
1. 5-minute rule. How many times do we say, "This will only take 5 minutes" and it ends up taking 20 minutes, making you late for an appointment or client! Anytime you think that something will take you 5 minutes, add on 10-15 minutes.
Manage Stress By Focusing On Solutions And By Having A Laugh
Marshal John Kruger acted by Arnold Schwarzenegger (who else) in the film "Eraser" protects a female employee in the defence industry who has exposed corruption and treason to the FBI.
Assess Your Stress Using Haris Stress Inventory
This is a tool to measure the amount of stress you experience in your daily life. 66 statements are included. Read slowly and carefully, state how far it is true in your case. You may please choose any one of the following five options to each item.
Walking - The Perfect Stress Reducer
An excellent stress reducer can be something as simple as walking or doing any form of physical activity. Physical activity has the ability to calm jangled nerves and improve bad moods. It can have a calming effect, enhance self-esteem and even combat depression.
Make a Handbag - Discover Inner Peace and Stress Reduction
Have you ever considered sewing a handbag as an act of meditation or as a way to get in touch with your self and reduce stress? Let's look at the process In order to see the connection to inner peace.
Stress Management and Mastery: How to Learn from Mistakes
Q. I've been told that I need to learn from my mistakes. But telling me to learn from my mistakes is easier said than done. How exactly does it happen?
|© Athifea Distribution LLC - 2013|