Stress Management: How to Handle Rejection - The Power of NEXT
Raise your hand if you have ever been rejected by anyone, for anything, at any time. C'mon, be honest.
When I ask this question in seminars, nearly all the people raise their hand, except for those select few who never raise their hand in public no matter what the question.
The bottom line is this:
Every one of us has felt the sting of rejection at some time in our lives. And although rejection can and does hurt, there is an important distinction to be made. Most of the people I have worked with have a more difficult time with the fear of rejection than the rejection itself.
From the teen-age boy who hangs up the phone when the girl answers (did that more than once myself) to the adult afraid to ask for a raise, the fear of rejection stops many people from doing what they want.
When it comes to rejection or the fear of rejection, it's just like many other challenges in life: It's not what happens to you that matters as much as what you do about it. With rejection, we have the choice to either let it define us or refine us. Let's take a closer look at each of these two options.
How we let rejection define us
Believe that FEAR stands for Forget Everything And Run. Most people get rejected once and give up.
Believe that the rejection reflects the sum total of your worth as a person.
After being rejected, never take a risk again.
Play the rejection over and over again in your mind. This helps keep it fresh.
Have a large and ongoing pity party, even though you're the only invited guest.
Take a tip from Rabbit in ``Winnie the Pooh'' and think: ``Why does this always happen to me? Why, oh why, oh why?''
Practice being afraid to ask.
Believe that everyone knows you were rejected and is looking at you and talking about you.
Get stuck. Stay focused on the rejection and never worry about moving forward.
How to use rejection to refine you
Believe that FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real. Realize that most of what you worry about (false evidence) does not happen.
Take a tip from the world of sales: Studies show that most sales are made not on the first contact, but on the fourth, fifth or sixth contact. Keep swinging.
Keep in mind that just because someone says ``no'' right now, does not necessarily mean the person will say ``no'' in the future. That might happen, and then again, it might not. Ask again.
Learn from the rejection. Focus on how to ask more skillfully, asking the right questions, asking the right person, etc.
Practice the QTIP response to rejection. According to stress management expert Tim O'Brien, QTIP stands for Quit Taking It Personally.
And now, my favorite response to rejection: How would you like a nice four-letter word to use whenever you are rejected?
The next time you're rejected, say loudly to yourself: NEXT!
The power of NEXT! is that it allows you to put the rejection behind you and focus on your present and future goals.
Remember, everyone has been rejected. It's a big club. Whether rejection defines us or refines us is our choice. Which will it be for you?
Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
The Power of Five
Do you ever fret? In today's materialistic age, sometimes fretting is inevitable. With so many goals to achieve and needs to meet, fretting has become the "official emotion of the generation."
Coping With Stress
When something happens in our lives, we automatically assess the situation mentally and try to determine if it is threatening to us. If we feel that we don't have the skills or resources necessary to deal with the situation then we feel stress. We don't feel stress when we think that we have more than enough resources to cope. Not everyone sees a situation in the same way; therefore, no two people react to stress in the same way. I have identified 5 steps for managing stress.
Stress Management and Mastery: Shake It Off and Step Up
The moment I read the story I'm about to share with you, I knew it would make a good article. It has one of the best approaches to managing stress, change and, for that matter, life and its living that I have ever read. Give it a read, and then we'll put some hands and feet on it to make it immediately useful.
Stress Management:: 4 Critical Distinctions
Stress Vs Pressure
Stress Management: The Power of Expectancy
On a beautiful summer day years ago, I went water skiing with some new friends. I hadn't skied in a while, and as I floated in the water with long pieces of wood strapped to my feet, here's what I remember thinking:
Choose a Stressless Lifestyle!
A stressless lifestyle? That's very easy to say. Yet it is so important. Our health should be our # 1 priority. We all know that, and still we keep hearing about yet another work mate who is now on the sick-list for several weeks to come.
Managing Stress From Another World
Modern stress is habitual, and is something that the vast majority of Americans and Britons succumb to in their material driven lives. Whether mildly or overwhelmingly, stress will cast its powers across most of us at some stage in our lives, often increasingly as we get sucked into a pattern of working and living that gradually strips us of our individuality.
Stress - A Modern Cause of Disease
Every day we are faced with a situation where our health is assaulted on all sides. There is not just one cause of disease. People get sick because of a number of converging changes. In Australia, according to government research, 50% of people aged 50 and over are considered to have some form of disability. 20% of children reported symptoms of Asthma to their Medical Practitioner in the past year, 30% of Australians over the age of 25 are at risk of Diabetes. Today we are faced with many enemies that simply didn't exist all those years ago.
Managing Your Every Day Stresses And Anxieties
Looking for all of the answers in how to manage your persistent anxieties and stresses? As an author of a managing fear book, I found it difficult to find all of the answers in managing my anxieties. Although I am a layman and not a professional, I have interviewed many psychologists and clergyman and I have over fifteen years of experience in dealing with fear.
The Cost of Stress ? the Need to Monitor and Manage the Risks!
How much attention is paid to one of the biggest underlying risk factors within an organisation ? the effects of stress? Not only are there a lot of potential risks arising from the spread of stress within an organisation, it costs them a great deal of money!!
Stress Management and Mastery: Breakdown or Breakthrough?
Q: "My career, though very very stressful, is one that I thoroughly enjoy and do not want to change. Because I'm under so much stress, my counselor has recommended that I eliminate all stress from my life. This doesn't seem to make sense to me, especially since I like what I do so much. Should I quit my job, or is there something else I can do?"
Dont Be a Worry Wort!
Everyone worries. As bothersome as it is, worry isn't all bad, and can actually work for you. Worry can give you a jolt of energy, spark your creative thinking, and help you to meet deadlines. The trick is to keep worry under control and these tips will help you do that.
Stress Management: Medical Risks of Stress
What is Stress?
Reduce Stress and Enjoy More Sleep
If you suffer from insomnia of any kind, the chances are you don't need to be told that there's a significant connection between sleep problems like insomnia and stress. In fact, as cases of insomnia and related sleep problems increase, more and more people find themselves caught between the pressures and responsibilities of daily life and their desire for a good night's sleep.The good news is that insomnia and stress don't have to go hand in hand. There are a variety of productive ways that you can reduce stress and increase your chances of getting a good night's sleep at the same time.If you have already taken the basic steps necessary for a good night's sleep (the 5 steps to better sleep outlined in my previous article and published here), the chances are you're suffering from stress-induced insomnia, and it's time for you to take action. That's because anxiety of any kind has quantifiable physiological effects such as increasing your blood pressure, your heart rate and your body temperature ? which in turn disrupt your body's natural propensity for sleep and disturb your body's nightly sleep functions. In other words, anxiety doesn't just reduce the amount of sleep you are able to get - it damages the quality of the sleep that you do enjoy.Fortunately, you can reduce stress and improve your sleep fairly simply by undertaking some form of regular relaxation exercise. Depending upon your preference and your degree of stress, there are several different ways to improve your sleep quality through relaxation.For some people all it takes to reduce stress is a warm bath and some sleep-promoting aromatherapy. Using calming aromatherapy candles or adding soothing essential oils to your bath are the perfect way to diffuse anxiety and induce the sleep you need after a long day.If you find yourself suffering from more severe stress and insomnia, you may also want to try a guided relaxation or meditation exercise to promote a good night's sleep. This can be as simple as spending fifteen to thirty minutes sitting comfortably in silence, or as involved as using a specially prepared CD or DVD for a more structured meditation that guides you gently towards sleep. Taking an afternoon yoga class or learning some deep breathing exercises are also excellent natural sleep remedies.The best approach to including any sleep enhancing relaxation exercise (from sleep-inducing aromatherapy to guided meditation) is to try one approach for at least two weeks and see how you get on. Because your body responds best to routine ? especially when it comes to sleep ? this will give your sleep cycle a chance to properly adjust. If, after a couple of weeks you find that your chosen approach is having little effect, don't despair. Simply try another approach until you find a method that works best for you.It won't take long for you to discover a relaxation exercise that suits your needs and the chances are you'll both reduce stress and be enjoying a long, restful night's sleep sooner, rather than later.
How Stress Effects Neurotransmitters
The brain uses feel-good transmitters called endorphins when managing daily stress. When the brain requires larger amounts of endorphins to handle increased stress, the ratio of many of the other transmitters, one to another, becomes upset creating a chemical imbalance. We begin to feel stress more acutely -- a sense of urgency and anxiety creates even more stress. As a result, harmful chemicals are released in our bodies that may do damage, causing more stress. This vicious cycle is called the "stress cycle." Emotional fatigue might result and be experienced and felt as depression.
Using Exercise to Relieve Stress
Most people know of the importance of exercise as a means of weight loss, strength gains, and increased endurance, but exercise can play a major role in the reduction of stress. Along with just stress relief, exercise can help improve mental health, emotion and mood.
Stress & Performance: How Much is Just Right?
WHAT THE RESEARCH SAYS
Ten Easy Relaxation Techniques
Stress is more than just unpleasant. It's dangerous. Try these relaxation techniques today, and use them whenever you feel that tension coming on.
Stress Management: 12 Stress Busters for Speedy Stress Reduction
Are You Too Stressed?
Stress Management and Mastery: 5 Tips for Positive Anger Management
A grandfather, whose grandson came to him angry at a schoolmate who had done him an injustice, said,
|© Athifea Distribution LLC - 2013|