Who Are The Underminers?
How many of you had the experience growing up of being told in various ways to limit yourselves from being all you can be? The movie "The Incredibles" is a wonderful metaphor for this. In this movie, the superheroes ? the people with extraordinary powers ? are restricted from using their powers.
When I was growing up, I was not supported in being all I could be. "Boys don't like smart girls," "People will be jealous of you." I learned to hide good grades and talents, for fear others would be threatened. If I wanted to "fit in," I needed to be like everyone else. Being extraordinary was considered "weird."
In the movie, the superheroes are finally allowed to use their powers because they are needed to save the planet. This, too, is a metaphor. We are each extraordinary in our own ways, and this planet needs each of us to fully express our gifts and talents. We need extraordinary people to step up to the plate to guide us away from fear, greed and manipulation and into caring, compassion, and personal responsibility. Fortunately, many more young people today are encouraged to be all they can be.
At the end of the movie, a horrible monster arises from the earth, saying something like, "We are the underminers. We undermine happiness, peace and joy. We are always beneath you."
Who are the underminers?
Underminers are both within and without.
Outer underminers are those people who do not have your highest good at heart. They are the people who want to use you, blame you, manipulate and control you, and try to limit you. They are the people who are threatened by you being all you can be. They are the people who want you to care-take them rather than take responsibility for yourself. These people can be family, friends, or co-workers ? anyone in your life who does not support you in being all you can be. It is sad and lonely when the people who say they care about you, instead do all they can to control and limit you.
However, as adults it is the inner underminers who cause the most damage. The inner underminers are the wounded parts of ourselves that hold our limiting beliefs ? the lies we learned about ourselves, others, and God. These underminers shout lies to us that cause our fears and anxieties and keep us from fully manifesting all that we are.
Paul is a very competent man, yet every time he gets a new idea of something he wants to do with his work and his life, his underminer says, "You can't do it. You will fail." His underminer keeps him immobilized and "safe."
Julia is a talented writer, yet has never submitted her writing for publication. Whenever she starts to move toward submitting her writing, her underminer shouts, "No one will listen to you. No one wants to read what you write."
For a long time, Joanna has wanted to leave her job and go back to school for further training. Yet whenever she contemplates this, her underminer sneaks in with the lie that stops her every time: "If you leave your job, you will never find another one. God will not support you in doing what you want to do."
Robert is unhappy in his relationship. His girlfriend, Marian, just wants to be taken care of. She is often very angry at Robert when he wants to spend time with friends or even time alone, and does not support him in what brings him joy. She is an underminer, yet it is his inner underminer that keeps him from leaving. "You will end up alone and be more miserable than you are now."
Suzanne was the "smart one" in her family, while her sister was the "pretty one." Her parents undermined her by telling her over and over that she needed to learn to take care of herself because no man would want her. Now, a successful and attractive woman, Suzanne's underminer constantly tells her, "You will always be alone. You are not meant to have a relationship." Because of her underminer, Suzanne approaches relationships with a chip on her shoulder, creating the rejection she is hoping to avoid.
"You can't." "You will fail." "You are inadequate." "Who do you think you are?" "You will end up alone." "You are ugly." "You are alone ? God does not exist." "Spirit will not support you because you are not good enough."
The underminer ? undermining your happiness, peace and joy. Why not be a superhero and stop listening to the underminer?
About The Author
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is the best-selling author and co-author of eight books, including "Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You?" She is the co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding healing process. Learn Inner Bonding now! Visit her web site for a FREE Inner Bonding course: http://www.innerbonding.com or mailto:email@example.com. Phone sessions available.
The Fighting Father
This man is an Anglican priest but with a difference. You would not want to offend him put it that way. His online ministry helps to serve the community of street youth homeless/drug-addicted/criminal in a very unique way - by teaching them how to fight for starters. At the end of this article I will leave you with Father Dave's Top 10 of why we need to teach our youngsters boxing in order to make them less violent...What does it conjur in your mind when you think Anglican priest? Maybe a religious person? An old man pontificating whilst shrouded by church incense? Or perhaps a born-again Christian jumping about singing 'Praise the Lord on high' and speaking in tongues amidst wails and shrieks of people being moved by the Spirit 'Toronto blessing style.'Let me tell you that though he wears a dog-collar this man is no weakling. Father dave Smith is the minister of Holy Trinity Dulwich Hill in Sydney, Australia. From his own bio:"My mother died while I was still 16. It was the same day that I bought my first leather jacket. By this stage I'd developed a rather passionate attraction to the 'Sex Pistols' and to the nihilism of the British Punk scene. With my leather jacket and metal studs though I modelled my persona more on Dee Dee Ramone of the American punk group 'The Ramones'."We often neglect our spirituality. You can sign up for Father Dave's free affiliates only newsletter here A WARRIOR FORUM EXCLUSIVE:http://www.fightshop.biz/ezGaffurl.php?offer=samuk1000&pid=ezineFather Dave is the ex-champion of Hapkido worldwide.Now what is the difference between Father Dave and most other persons who use the internet as a shop or store. For one, just check out Dave's shop here and listen to the message. It's honest, frank and you won't get a much better browse on the internet. Only the best on the web here folks.http://www.fightshop.biz/ezGaffurl.php?offer=samuk1000&pid=0Here's what some others have been saying about Father Dave, friends:"He's as comfortable punching as he is preaching - which is just as well for the hundreds of teenagers this fighting father figure has saved from a life on the streets."Greg McLean (Aussie Post)"This nuggety minister has seen life from both sides of the tracks."Steve Lacey (Sydney Morning Herald)"Dave is a man of wonderful vision and never misses an opportunity to help others where he can ... I count myself fortunate to know him personally and to have him as a driving force in my Council area."Barry Cotter (Mayor of Marrickville)"I go to the man. I go to The Man's man. I go to the street, to the edge of the breakdown. I go to a man of God who wouid rather see kids throwing punches than punching heroin into their veins. Anglican priest Father Dave Smith"Jeff Wells (Daily Telegraph)"Father Dave is gifted in providing the young with a sense of purpose."Councillor Dimitrios Thanos (Marrickville Council)"fists of steel, a kick like a mule, the head of a fox and a heart of gold"Ross Willis (Western Suburbs Courier)Father Dave also has two digital products available. One, 'Sex, the Ring and the Eucharist' was in the Amazon Top 500 on the day of release. I urge you to check these out. The second is an inspirational original from the forefather's of America. This is just what our spirit's need. Let Father Dave welcome you. You can even watch him in the ring if you wish. Hee are the links to Father Dave's webpages:'Sex, the Ring and the Eucharist'http://www.fightshop.biz/ezGaffurl.php?offer=samuk1000&pid=1U.S. Civil War ebook libraryhttp://www.fightshop.biz/ezGaffurl.php?offer=samuk1000&pid=3At the beginning I promised you Father Dave's Top 10 reasons for teaching our youngsters boxing. Here they are:When young people are in a disciplined training routine they have no time to cause troubleEven when they have the time, they are too tired to cause trouble after a solid night's trainingYoung people learn to work happily in a structured environment which has positive effects at schoolIn the boxing gym they learn to accept authorityThrough competitive fighting, young people learn to set goals for their livesThrough developing their physical capabilities young people develop greater self-esteemThe training routine teaches them self-disciplineThrough learning to control their response when they are hit, young people develop self-controlBoxing training is very cathartic for persons carrying a lot of emotional baggage or angerWhen a young person joins a gym they join a new peer group of persons not involved in drugs or criminal activitiesTHIS IS A SAM BEATSON ORIGINAL. I DO COPY'S AND ORIGINAL HYPNOTIC SALES LETTERS FOR THOSE INTERESTED...GENERAL TO CONVERT YOUR PRODUCT AND BONUSES INTO A HYPNOTIC PITCH WILL COST YOU JUST $19.97 VIA PAYPAL email me if you interested in tweaking your letters to make people feel really good about your product before jumping on the wagon full and making that firstname.lastname@example.org
$12 And 90 Minutes To Change Your Life
Have you ever listened to self hypnosis tapes? Or listened repeatedly to certain music that carried a specific message? Or what about, have you attended weekly services within a specific religious venue?
Living on Purpose: One Rock at a Time
I just got back from Colorado where I spent a week relaxing, re-energizing and revisiting the key values in my life. The lodge where I stayed is called Peaceful Valley, and it has a chapel on the premises. I've been to Peaceful Valley and to this chapel many times over the years. The chapel is at the end of a steep ten-minute hike, which has become a ritual for me. The view at the top -- a part of the Rocky Mountain range -- is breathtaking.
The Most Powerful Question Ever Asked?
What if every experience in your life is sent to you so you can understand who you are and what your life is all about?
Inspiration: A Few More Things Ive Noticed Along the Road So Far
Here's a quote from the late great columnist Sydney Harris that I believe says much about the state of marriage in our culture: "Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that they automatically deserve great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes they automatically deserve success in marriage."
Journaling for Two
Journaling is a powerful tool that can enhance our lives and support our well-being. It can also add to our relationships at home, work, and play. When we journal we are recording a relative reflection of our feelings and experiences. When we share those with the ones closest to us, we learn more about ourselves and each other.
Reclaiming Our Resilient Spirit
Our spirits are taking a beating. The daily barrage of bad news, violence, shrinking resources, global warming, and economic slowdown can put us in a state of frustration and paralysis. Some days, getting out of bed can be a challenge.
Switch to a Better Channel!
Peril, catastrophe and disaster.
Learn From Failure and Confirm with Success
Both failure and success are good... if you know what their specific purpose is.
Everyone Has Been Hurt...Part 1
I want to share some things with you that I usually don't share with many people. To be honest not many people do know the whole story and that is because I don't really trust many people with this. Anyways here goes..
Tim McGraw had it Right - Live Like You Are Dying!
Chorus:An' he said: "I went ski diving, I went rockymountain climbing, "I went two point seven seconds on a bull named FuMan Chu""And I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter,"And I gave forgiveness I'd been denying."An he said: "Some day, I hope you get the chance,"To live like you were dyin'."
H-U-G-S -------The More You Give----The More You Get!
How many of us couldn't use a hug on a daily basis----------well, when you get out of bed as part of your daily practice in the morning wrap your arms around yourself and just say "Good Morning----What a Great Day to be Alive!!!!"
Crossing The Line Of Fear
Oh, this is a great topic! I remember when I was younger and in school, fear stopped me from asking out a girl I wanted to date. I can remember all the thoughts of different things I wanted to say and how I would ask her out. But as quickly as the thoughts to ask her out popped in my head, I came up with all the reasons why she might say no. I remember the "feeling" of rejection and embarrassment even though I didn't even pick up the phone! It's as real in my mind right now as it was then.
Inspiration From Other People - Is It Worth Listening To A Film Star?
Yesterday, I listened to an interview with Michael York, the film star. I listened half-heartedly at first and then with fascination. By the end of the conversation I had discovered at least one inspiring truth i.e. It is well worth listening to other people without prejudging what they can teach you.
Encouraging Blossoms of Achievement
The tiny dogwood sapling was only a twig when my mother planted it years ago. At age four, with a red wagon and bucket, I was happy to carry water to anything that grew, even to the full grown flowering apple trees in my grandfather's orchard.
Love and Courage
To [many] work is not a gratifying opportunity to do good, but a necessary evil they would gladly forgo if they won or inherited a fortune. It is just a livelihood, a vital drudgery. Its meaning is the paycheck and the value it has in terms of service to their community is indifferent or very subordinate.
Trouble, trouble, trouble. Nothing but trouble. The night before, I was just talking to a friend-cum-feng-shui master about the direction of my life. The horrible things that are currently going in my life right now. The things that could go wrong, is going to go wrong or has gone wrong. I spent a total of 3 hours complaining, ranting and raving about how unfair life is and how come others who are close to me or my husband can afford luxurious lifestyles. How come they have 2 family cars and we have to share 1 car. How come they can afford to have four computers for the four family members of their home. The youngest being barely 3 have her own computer at all ? like she's got tons of work to do on her own and absolutely needs her own computer, you know what I mean? I was just ranting and raving about how my kids have to fight with me for the computer ? me rushing things out for my clients and my kids sitting right next to me, waiting for me to finish with the consistent but patient enquiries like, 'Mom, are you done yet?' or 'Have you made enough money yet?'.
Mirror, Mirror -- What Do I See?
"A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror."-Ken Keys
Don?t Let the Boogeyman Steal Your Dreams
The boogeyman lurking in the closet scares the bejesus out of little kids. "Big people" know the imaginary monster from their childhood isn't real. Yet, adults freeze in their tracks when the same monster pops up on their path in life.
Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 8, 2003
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