Trouble, trouble, trouble. Nothing but trouble. The night before, I was just talking to a friend-cum-feng-shui master about the direction of my life. The horrible things that are currently going in my life right now. The things that could go wrong, is going to go wrong or has gone wrong. I spent a total of 3 hours complaining, ranting and raving about how unfair life is and how come others who are close to me or my husband can afford luxurious lifestyles. How come they have 2 family cars and we have to share 1 car. How come they can afford to have four computers for the four family members of their home. The youngest being barely 3 have her own computer at all ? like she's got tons of work to do on her own and absolutely needs her own computer, you know what I mean? I was just ranting and raving about how my kids have to fight with me for the computer ? me rushing things out for my clients and my kids sitting right next to me, waiting for me to finish with the consistent but patient enquiries like, 'Mom, are you done yet?' or 'Have you made enough money yet?'.
I can't think straight with my kids sitting right next to me, waiting to pound my keyword into pieces the moment I am done with my 12th article for the day. It's a little bit like having President Bush sitting right next to you informing you about personal sacrifice for the benefit of the entire nation! You just can't say 'no' because if you do, you'll feel like a total loser.
But I realize how insignificant my so-called problems are when compared to the kind of problems that some others have.
Beaten and bruised
Beaten and bruised. Belittled and have no sense of self because of the brutal and constant mental and physical beatings that they have taken from the people they thought loved them. They have been betrayed by people whom they thought they loved and could trust.
Those are just a few types of people who have it worse than most of us.
We held each other's gaze for about 20 ? 30 seconds, while I waited and he waited, gauging and guessing each other's thoughts. I guess he was sizing me up in pretty much the same way I was sizing him up. Then he dropped his gaze because in the large scheme of things, he concluded that I was obviously superior.
He continued to scour the garbage cans. In his right hand, he held a large plastic bag. I saw him take out and place empty coke cans into the bag as he went from trash can to trash can. My heart melted and my fears and anxiety dissipated.
What a horribly selfish person I am. Here is a man who was looking for trash to sell and the night before, I spent 3 hours complaining about the kind of luxuries I have that he doesn't.
What a selfish, selfish person I am.
Marsha Maung is a freelance graphic designer and copy writer who works from her home in Selangor, Malaysia. She loves nothing more than blowing bubbles in the park with her 2 kids, Joshua and Jared and considers getting her hair yanked while playing horsey an absolute privilege. She is the author of "Raising little magicians", and the popular "The Lance in freelancing". More information can be found at http://www.marshamaung.com
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