A Plan Of Attack
Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 28, 2002
I feel I am at the breaking point. I work at a small school and run the office. I do all the financials, secretarial work, and reception duties. While staffing has increased in the classroom, it has not in administration.
I shared my feeling with the principal on Monday and clearly stated things must change. Teachers need to take more responsibility for their own tasks instead of bringing them to the office via students or teacher aides.
The principal gave a huge lecture to teachers about overloading, looking out for each other, and making sure family life has priority. I felt better. Then he told me he was leaving at 11:30 a.m. and in future would take every Thursday off!
That automatically increases my workload. I resolved not to work overtime, which is usually unpaid, but yesterday was so busy I needed to in order to get my real work done. Everyone else left early!
I enjoy the job and need to work, but no one takes me seriously including my husband who tells me how wonderful I am. I am tired of being superwoman. We have children and visitors from overseas for several months, and I feel any day I will lose my mind!
Blake, you are hardworking, clever, and do your job well. You need to use that cleverness and work ethic to devise a solution.
You've done the most important thing by talking to the principal. He's already given the speech. In fact, he took a page from what you are feeling and applied it to himself. That sounds awful, but it frees you to act without having to explain your position to everyone.
Your job is like a square box. It doesn't matter how many people want to put more in the box. When the box is full, it is full. Once other people understand that, they will go look for another box.
Begin with your main duties and center your day around these items. Each time someone brings other work, decide if you can reasonably do it. If you can't, send it back or offer to show that person how they can do it for themselves. At quitting time, the box is full. Grab your purse and go.
On Thursdays, explain the principal is unavailable. Don't offer to take messages or handle the situation yourself. At home, tell your husband you are now trading compliments for a load of laundry and help with the dishes. Integrate your house guests into the normal family chores and routine. Most guests actually enjoy it!
Being superwoman is not a compliment, it is a job description. If you don't reduce your stress level, one day you will quit your job because you simply cannot bear it. No one will gain from that.
Wayne & Tamara
Predicting The Past
My girlfriend thinks I fancy her sister even though I don't. She and her sister live together so you can imagine the tension. It's now at the stage that I'm not allowed to talk to her sister or be in the same room with her.
My girlfriend has been hurt before, and that is where this is coming from. She's afraid I will go off with her sister, though this will never happen. What can I do to help her get over this?
Roland, if you swear on a bible or promise to put your own eyes out, it is still not enough to satisfy a jealous person. Jealousy is about fear, control and power, not love.
You need to nip this pattern of accusation and denial in the bud. When you talk to your girlfriend, don't coddle her or try to convince her. That only feeds her jealousy. Let her know she has a choice. She can lose one past boyfriend to his misdeeds, or she can continue to accuse you and lose a second.
About The Author
Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.
Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Powerful Caretakers - Taking Good Care of Ourselves First
Our community consists of powerful caretakers. We do a great job of assisting and loving those around us. However, many of us fall short when it comes to taking good care of ourselves. We expend our energies giving to our kids, our jobs, our partners, our schedules and more. Then, at the end of the day, we have nothing left for us. If this goes on for too long, we can begin to experience our lives as less than fulfilling.
Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 25, 2002
How to Pray on Water! Announcing Life-Changing Bible Code - Discover Amazing Water Scriptures!
Water is the source of life, yet so few of us understand how to navigate its spiritual and inspirational powers.
Martial Arts CHARACTER And the Universal Law of Interdependence - The Keys to Life Mastery, Key #2
In the philosophical teachings which form the foundation for the Ninja Warrior's lifeways, there is a principle known as the 'law of interdependence.' This so-called 'law' is not a must-do rule which one must follow, nor is it to be confused with dependence or co-dependence as it is seen today where one or more individuals who cannot or choose not to provide for themselves, lean on and 'depend' on the work and resources of another for the fulfillment of their needs. Rather, the law of interdependence is something that is to be recognized as a basic 'truth' in the world.
Resistance to Change
All of us are resistant to change, whether it's in using a different tool, a technique a choice in partners, or lifestyle.
Over the years I've learned to challenge my audiences to turn their response to the ideas and information they receive into results. According to the Christian story, the first couple, Adam and Eve, was instructed to be fruitful - produce some results.
Fear, Faith, and Believing vs. Knowing
Fear is deeply rooted in uncertainty. Think about it; the only you've ever feared was the unknown. All fear and fears humans have experienced and continue to experience is rooted in uncertainty. A drive in an unfamiliar place can prompt fear, an unknown result, a stranger behind you, or a dark alley.
Direct Answers - Column for the week of March 24, 2003
Brilliant Autumn: Reaping a Bounteous Harvest
"But if in your thought you must measure time intoseasons, let each season encircle all the other seasons, And let today embrace the past with remembrance and the future with longing." - Kahlil Gibran (1883-1931)
Healing from Within
"We are responsible for everything in our lives, including how the chemistry in our bodies works or doesn't work." Wayne Dyer's words hit me like a bolt of lightening as I listened to his taped book, You'll See It When You Believe It.
Direct Answers - Column for the week of September 22, 2003
Everyday is a Gift, Open and Enjoy It
There is a bottle of perfume sitting on my dresser that I was given when I was ten years old! As you can tell I have pack rat tendencies! For me that pattern started as a young child. I could never bear to throw things away. There was more to it than not wanting to throw things away. I loved the feeling I had when I would receive something new, and would not want to spoil it by using it unless it was for something special. I would want to save it for a special occasion. A new dress would sit in the closet, until a special event to wear it. Perfume would sit on my dresser, not to be used for everyday, but for a special 'something'. This was a pattern in my life for many years.
Living on Purpose: One Rock at a Time
I just got back from Colorado where I spent a week relaxing, re-energizing and revisiting the key values in my life. The lodge where I stayed is called Peaceful Valley, and it has a chapel on the premises. I've been to Peaceful Valley and to this chapel many times over the years. The chapel is at the end of a steep ten-minute hike, which has become a ritual for me. The view at the top -- a part of the Rocky Mountain range -- is breathtaking.
Direct Answers - Column for the week of February 9, 2004
Do you ever need to have your batteries "re-charged", or you may need a boost to your self-confidence. You might be facing a very scary situation--like turning another year older with a BIG zero behind the number--and need a strong and reasurring presence.
Finding Inspiration to Realise Your Dreams and Ambitions
"Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great." Mark Twain
7 Keys for Joyful Living!
Here are some thoughts for finding and experiencing joy in your life. Ifthere were one thing I could wish upon my family, friends and the readers ofthis Ezine, it would be joy in everything they do!
Direct Answers - Column for the week of November 10, 2003
Change Begins With Choice
Any day we wish we can discipline ourselves to change it all. Any day we wish; we can open the book that will open our mind to new knowledge. Any day we wish; we can start a new activity. Any day we wish; we can start the process of life change. We can do it immediately, or next week, or next month, or next year.
Why My Wife Is My Hero
My name is Chas Brothers. Many of you know me as an author of motivational articles directed towards both big and small business alike. As writers, we draw upon our knowledge and experience to offer our readers the one or two things they may need to inspire them to greatness.
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