Rocking The Boat
I work in a factory, and we have supervisors who play favorites. They have about six girls who can do no wrong, and they have easier jobs than the rest of us. These girls go out after work to bars, and that is why they are in with the supervisors.
The boss over these supervisors will not do anything because his boss is the father of one of these supervisors. So long as "Daddy boss" is still there, this boss will not do anything to the supervisors. One girl played around and made the machinery malfunction for an operator, but she didn't get into trouble because of the favoritism.
Do we go to the owner of the company with a complaint on why these bosses will not fix this mess?
Carol, we will not tell you that you should go to the owner. What we will tell you is how this usually plays out.
Some things are worth doing because you feel they are the right thing to do, even when you know they will not succeed. As a rule, whistleblowers do not succeed. Complaining or whistleblowing makes you the problem, instead of the problem you are calling attention to.
Human beings are social animals, and family and social connections in the workplace usually count for more than merit or truth. Truth is very weak. There is nothing pushing it. It can't stand up to people pushing their own agenda.
The one place where truth, fact, and objectivity are supposed to rule is science, but even in science it is a problem. The physicist Max Planck once observed that an important scientific innovation is usually accepted not because people readily accept its truth, but because the older generation of opponents grows old and dies off.
Carol, you have three options: you can overlook the unfairness and become immune to it, you can seek other employment, or you can try to fix the problem. Fixing the problem is the solution least likely to occur. In all probability, your workplace is a boat the owner does not want rocked.
Wayne & Tamara
The Quality Of Mercy
I am Ali from Pakistan, and I need your help on a weird issue. First, let me tell you something about me. I am a student of information technology. I am not from a rich family, but our family is a respected one. When I turned 20, I left my family for studies in computer science. Okay, now here started the problem.
I used to use the Internet as a resource for knowledge, but two years ago I got free time and started chatting online. I am not very good talking to girls, at least maybe not to the sharp ones. I do not know the exact reason, but one can be that I am a little shy and can't talk the talk.
I met a girl online, and we shared a lot. At least, I did. But I lied to her. Out of nowhere, though, I was in love with her. I told her some mushy lines because it was hurting to think of her not in my life. Then I told her I lied to her. It was a difficult time because she was so angry, but I finally managed to get her mercy. Is she really okay with me? How do we go back to our old chat sessions we both used to enjoy?
Ali, Mark Twain said, "If you tell the truth, you don't have anything to remember." You also don't have anything to apologize for or explain away. You may have gained her mercy, but what is the quality of her mercy?
How do you go back to the old familiarity and trust, when that was interwoven with lies? You wonder how you would feel if she lied to you. Probably, you would still doubt her.
Direct Answers - Column for the week of April 5, 2004
About The Author
Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.
Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
20 Ways To Improve Your Life
People often ask me how they can improve their lives.
As A Caterpillar
"Happiness can be as elusive as a fluttering butterlfy but as easily attainable as a crawling caterpillar. Put aside the net, and let it happen." Brain G. Jett
Letting Go Of Perfection
"The power of discovery enables us to achieve excellence without having to be "perfect.'"
There Is Always Room For Improvement
When I was twelve my parents bought me a five foot snooker table for my birthday. This turned out to be the best present I was ever bought and I quickly became hooked on the game. My friends would regularly come round to my house for a game and when they were not there I would practice on my own.
Take Action and Make a Better World
Albert Einstein is quoted as having said, "the world is a dangerous place to live, not because of the people who are evil, but because of the people who don't do anything about it".
Resistance to Change
All of us are resistant to change, whether it's in using a different tool, a technique a choice in partners, or lifestyle.
Commitment To The Journey
I have been a business owner for about a minute. In fact, that would probably be quite generous if you compared me to the business moguls out here or anywhere for that matter. But in spite of that fact, I probably know a lot about business, more than I realize and much more than you would expect, if you knew my background. It is my life as a business owner that has finally made sense of all the data and observations that I have gathered over the years. I spent 20 years of my life working for others, most unknown, some infamous.
Growing up, I remember my Dad had some really good friends. They had the most amazing, positive and magnetic energy. Arguably, they were also among the "coolest" of their time. One in particular, is not only admired by me, but by countless others who affectionately know him as, "Big O." "Big O" is called "Big O" for several reasons. The most obvious; he's big! Two, his first name is Orin. And three, his son, Orin, Jr., is nicknamed, "Little O."
Psychic Sponge Syndrome: The Easy Inner-Centrifuge Remedy
Here's a nifty trick to use to clear yourself of any psychic "stuff" you may pick up as you move through the world. I learned the basic format for it from a woman who had the booth space adjacent to mine at a tradeshow. Being someone who had not yet mastered the art of being open-hearted without sponging up the energy of others, I was walking around like a zombie on day two of the show, after having been immersed in the circus of conflicting energies the day before . My booth neighbor asked me what was going on with me, as I was obviously not as radiant as I had been on day one. When I explained that I had soaked up too much chaotic energy and didn't know how to rid myself of it, she said, "Oh. You just need to spin it off." And I said, "Cool! HOW?!"
Careful What You Wish For...
I have always been fascinated by the concept of "wishing.", especially "collective wishing." If enough people wish for the same thing, does it make it happen? For instance, humans probably always wished that they could talk to each other without having to "go there" physically. Perhaps the invention of the telephone was actually the result of a long-standing collective wish from days of the caveman. From the long lensed perspective of human history, the telephone, which literally manifests far away voices into thin air, truly is a magical object.
Here is The Inspirational Wisdom From The Masters
Have you always wanted to do invent something, create something, improve the lives of other people, write a book, meet the partner of your dreams, and make more money. Here is some inspiration for you then.
Basic Buddhism - Doing What is Right
I find of particular interest in the Eastern Religions many threads that survive in other, later, belief systems. Not only do they survive in textual fact, but they seem to be super relevant to New Age and reformed movements. I speak especially of Right Action, Positive Thought, Positive Action, seeing only Good in all things and all people and believing in a Oneness.
Today is Yesterdays Tomorrow
The problem with waiting until tomorrow is that when it finally arrives, it is called today. Today is yesterday's tomorrow. The question is what did we do with its opportunity? All too often we will waste tomorrow as we wasted yesterday, and as we are wasting today. All that could have been accomplished can easily elude us, despite our intentions, until we inevitably discover that the things that might have been have slipped from our embrace a single, unused day at a time.
One Woman?s Story of How Her Smile Increased Her Confidence
For one who takes pride in being involved with different community organizations, possessing a high level of confidence is essential. Especially when that involvement includes speaking to large and small groups requesting donations for numerous non-profit organizations.
Where You Can Find Sympathy
Ask any of my kids and they'll tell you immediately that you'll find it in the dictionary between "sh-" and "syphilis". Wasn't that absolutely cruel and unkind of me to instill in them a nearly total distain for the concept of "sympathy"? With so many individuals in the world suffering in so many ways, how could I possibly be so heartless? I am without a doubt, an uncaring, evil SOB!
The Serpents Genesis 1 and 2
Not long after the beginning a being fell from the heavens to the earth. Even as the Spirit of God hovered overhead, the Serpent swam the waters below. As light divided from darkness, the Serpent chose the darkness, preferring it to the light. And the Serpent stalked the darkness of that first night.
From The Ashes
The man plopped down on his chair, defeated.
A Key In Hand Is Worth A Thousand On My Desk
A key fault I have, and I can only talk about one fault at a time, is the tendency to get busy. I often find myself chasing my own tail. What I will do with it when I catch it is beyond my understanding. However, this notwithstanding, I fall into the trap time after time of getting too busy for my own good.
Play It Forward --Living A Life Youve Always Wanted!
What would your life be like if you lived eachevent backwards? If you knew what was coming inyour life next how would you react?
How to Guarantee a GREAT Day Every Day!
I have a standing interview every Monday morning on a radio station in thesoutheast that I enjoy very much. You can imagine though that it can becomeroutine. So to make it a little more fun, the host nowadays doesn't eventell me the topic before we go live on the air - that puts some excitementinto it!
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