Direct Answers - Column for the week of April 19, 2004
I am currently involved in a wonderful year-long relationship with a man I've known for ten years. We dated briefly all those years ago, but I wound up marrying someone else. To make a long story short, I should have listened to the fates back then.
Recently I was contacted by another man I dated briefly right after high school. Our relationship ended in a gross misunderstanding. I thought I was getting signals from him to get lost, so I did. I was very hurt, and I have thought about him many times over the years. I found out in a recent meeting that I got the wrong signals and he has always been in love with me.
During this meeting the chemistry was very strong, but I would do nothing to betray my current boyfriend. You should also know I moved several times during that time period, and I believe he was looking for me but could not find me.
My problem is making a decision. I've compared the two, and I keep coming up with a true feeling of torn. I've done the pros and cons paperwork only to find each has the same amount of qualities I love. If I let one go, I will most likely spend my life wondering. One is wine and roses, the other is picnics and wildflowers?and I like both.
Penelope, in ancient Greece people listened to the fates by going to the temple of Apollo at Delphi, and asking the Delphic oracle for advice. The oracle would inhale the vapors from a cavern in the temple, enter a trance, then make a prophecy.
The most famous prophecy was to King Croesus, who asked if he should attack the Persians. The oracle ambiguously said, "If Croesus attacks the Persians, he will destroy a great empire." Croesus thought this was favorable advice, but when he attacked, the great empire he destroyed was his own.
Last year some scientists published a paper suggesting the vapor in the cavern at Delphi was ethylene, a compound which produces the same effect as "huffing," sniffing glue or paint thinner. In your case, we suspect the fates have been both speaking in riddles and sniffing glue.
Your feelings for neither man are strong enough that you could marry one without regret. Marry no one until you feel love without doubt.
Wayne & Tamara
Second Time Around
I am a 22-year-old female having a ridiculous problem getting over the fact my fiance was married before. We recently became engaged, and now the issue has become even more magnified for me. It upsets me to the point I'm afraid I might just tell him to forget the whole thing.
Aside from this, he is a really great guy and we get along terrifically. But I cannot get over the fact I am not the first person he's felt this way about. It cheapens it for me. When I remember he has already spit out vows for someone else, has already had wedding night sex, has already gone on a honeymoon, I don't feel special.
When we are at his mother's apartment, which used to be his apartment with his wife, I get filled with anger and start being mean to him. This is totally unfair. Even typing this makes me feel like a jackass, but I seriously can't help it.
Jackie, a song made popular by Kathy Mattea says, "You've got to sing like you don't need the money, Love like you'll never get hurt. You've got to dance like nobody's watching?" Everything, according to the song, must come straight from the heart without reservation.
You have a reservation about your fiance, and it is something he can never change. You are latching on to his past to stop something you don't wish to occur. We would not dismiss your reservations. Neither should you.
Wayne & Tamara
About The Author
Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.
Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Create 10 Delightful Daily Habits
Practising extreme self-care in our life involves practising good "daily" habits.Daily habits involve more than just exercising and eating right. They include all the things that bring us enjoyment and delight.
Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 26, 2004
4 Abundant Ways To Add FIRE To Your Passion!
How many times have you found yourself dreaming youwere more passionate?
Things Happen Without Reason
Sometimes things happen in life for apparently no reason at all. You think that there isn't any reason for something to happen until after the fact when that something has changed your life or pointed you into a new direction.
A Lifetime In Love
We let ourselves love but are afraid to say I love you.We constantly allow our emotions to run deep but why do we hold back on our sweet sensations and tingling feelings?
Keep Hope Alive
"Hope is the thing with feathersThat perches in the soul,And sings the tune without the words,And never stops at all.." ~ Emily Dickinson
One Woman, One Leg, No Job
What is social acceptance? Why is it so important? What can we do to overcome it? This inspirational story may change your attitude toward society and its evil un-acceptance and discriminations. Follow along as I give a detailed account of my experience with a life changing disability and the battle I continue to fight to gain acceptance and employment"
Life Lessons I Learned from My Cat
Even if you are not a cat person, bear with me, as this story goes far beyond cat mania. Our little tabby cat was frightened and highly-sensitive from the day we rescued her from the SPCA, two and a half years ago. No doubt being jailed there for four months messed her mind. As we came to learn "Shylo's" nature we renamed her "Shybaby."
Direct Answers - Column for the week of October 6, 2003
The Research Sector
Kevin had worked as a barber at The Clipper Joint for the past five years. He has dreams of opening his own barbershop one day. He is beginning to feel that it isn't really fair to have to pay Joe, the owner, 60% of his cut. It just doesn't seem right to him. He is the one with the clients. He is the one cutting heads for 7 hours a day. Why should he have to give up anything?
Let Change Be Your Friend, Mentor, and Inspiration
People have a tendency of anticipating pending change on the assumption that it will be bad. Such focus on the negatives contribute to unnecessary fears of change, even when there is really not much, if anything, to fear. Sometimes that fear can be inflamed by self doubt; doubts of our own ability to deal with this new situation that is about to befall us.
Abundance Is A Life Style
Abundance is a life style, a way of living your life. Itisn't something you buy now and then or pull down from thecupboard, dust off and use once or twice, and then return tothe cupboard.
Dont Ever Give Up
There is a reason I never gave up. A reason I never will give up my hope, my dreams, my desire to live. The reason is people who care. Those who have shown their concern for me, and their wish for me to succeed, to do the best I can do. They give me a reason to live.
Opening Hearts is as Easy as Opening a Window
Two-year-old Owen goes to speech therapy twice a week. The therapist's office is small and gloomy. There is one large window, but the shade is always down and very little light comes through. Each time we go there, I can't help but feel depressed by the atmosphere.
Why Does it Take So Long to Slow Down
Why do we wait so long, before we start thinking about whom and what we are? Why does it take a lifetime of living and struggling before we begin a meaningful search for our truth? I don't believe that is necessary.
Go Ahead... Journal! (Taking Time To Record My Souls Journey With God)
Imagine sitting down in a relaxed setting -- a setting youlove -- opening a publication, and discovering that you aretotally relating to the heart and soul of the author.
Who Is Dr Robert Anthony and Why Is He One of My Mentors and Heroes?
So who is Dr Robert Anthony?
Thoughts on Loving
Loving. It seems like such a simple concept. But those who have mastered the act of loving are close to non existent. I'm not so much talking about the love between a husband and a wife, a father and a son, or the love between two friends?I'm talking about love in a more general sense. The love that isn't concerned with what it will get in return, for there can be no expectations with this type of love. I'm talking about the love of mankind, the love of people?merely because they are God's, and they deserve to be acknowledged in such a way. The love that I believe Jesus possessed as he walked from town to town, meeting strangers, touching lepers, noticing the unnoticed.
Labor That Works Miracles
(excerpted from The Challenge to Succeed series)
Your Self-Image - How Is It Working for You?
"All that you desire or require is already on your pathway, but you must be wide awake to your good to bring it into manifestation." - Florence Scovel Shinn
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