Stress Managment and Mastery: Learning to Rebound
Q. I've suffered a few setbacks and disappointments in the last year and seem to be bogged down in them. A business that I began failed, and my long-term girlfriend left me for someone else.
I want to move past this but just don't seem able to bounce back. What can I do?
A. Let's pretend for a few moments that we are in a seminar, and let me ask for a show of hands:
How many of you have ever been rejected by anyone, for anything, at any time in your life?
How many of you have ever suffered a defeat over something large or small, for any reason, at any time in your life?
All of us have suffered rejection and defeat at some point in our lives: loss of jobs, broken relationships, deaths, disappointments, or just the ups and downs of everyday living.
Motivational speaker W. Mitchell has been quoted as saying,
"It's not what happens to us that matters; it's what we do about it that makes a difference."
With that thought in mind, I've noticed that when presented with rejection and/or defeat, most people have one of two reactions:
They either let it beat them, or they rise above it.
I call these two responses "dropping dead" and "bouncing back."
How to "drop dead"
Believe that this event defines you and your life now and forever. In other words, it's a final judgment of who you are.
Lose perspective. Focus only on what happened to you and nothing else.
Organize your thoughts, feelings, what you talk about - in other words, your whole life around what has happened. Talk about nothing else. Bore your friends.
Take a "dead roach approach": flat on your back with your legs in the air, no power.
Quit. Give up. Throw in the towel.
Believe in your heart that you have failed. Even worse, define yourself as a failure.
Focus on the past, something you can do nothing about.
Go it alone.
How to "bounce back"
Decide to. It was Abraham Lincoln who said, "People are about as happy as they decide to be." I think it's the same with bouncing back. I realize that sounds so simple, but that's really where it starts.
Implement the principle of NEXT!!! This one comes from the world of sales. The top salespeople in any field have trained themselves to handle rejection by saying "next" to themselves. In this context, "next" means to move on into the future and not get stuck in the past, not even the recent past.
Implement the principle of Open Doors. God never closes one door without opening several others. We have to look for them, however.
Focus on the present and future, two things you can do something about. The best way to predict the future is to create it as close as you can to the way you would like it to be.
Install a new belief that says I can only fail if I quit or if I don't learn something from the experience. In this way, you have to try really hard to fail, sort of like failing gym class.
Get the support you need.
Make these two crucial distinctions:
1. Make a place for what has happened in your life. It may stink, not be fair, and you may hate it. But it did happen and denying it will only come back to bite you later.
2. Put it in it's place, which is behind you, in the past. Think of the event like a chapter in a book that you do not have to read again and again.
Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for tips and tools for creating and growing a great relationship. You can also subscribe to our f*r*e*e 10 day e-program on how to enrich your relationship today, from relationship coach and expert Jeff Herring.
5 Ways to Create Reserve Energy Everyday
Did you ever feel like your "get-up-and-go" got up and deserted you? Has a stressful situation left you feeling drained and unmotivated to perform the simplest tasks?
Stress Managment: 12 Universal Laws for Managing Anger
1. The Law of Everyone
Simple Tips to Help Simplify Your Life! - Make it Great!
Quote of the week
Stress Relief Through Charity
One of the best ways to relieve yourself from the stresses in life is by giving to others. When you help others it takes the focus off of you and your problems and shifts the focus to the needs of others. Helping others brings about change in the community and a peace to you and someone in need. Below are 10 ways to volunteer and give the gift of yourself to others:
Managing Your Every Day Stresses And Anxieties
Looking for all of the answers in how to manage your persistent anxieties and stresses? As an author of a managing fear book, I found it difficult to find all of the answers in managing my anxieties. Although I am a layman and not a professional, I have interviewed many psychologists and clergyman and I have over fifteen years of experience in dealing with fear.
Dealing With Stress in Our Overworked Lives
As small business owners, we often take on more than we can handle. Wearing all the hats running our businesses, as well as the other commitments we have (i.e. volunteer work, family, etc.), can sometimes leave us feeling overworked, frustrated, and stressed out.
Just Breathe - Is This Your Missing Link ?
Breathing is the vital force of life. It is considered to be the mind-body bridge. Breathing is something that is done everyday, unconsciously; yet the majority of people do it improperly. When babies breathe, it is instinctive. Watching a healthy baby while sleeping, one may notice the deep breaths that are taken which fill up the diaphragm and move up into the lungs. As a person ages, bad habits are picked up, health often declines, nutrition worsens, and stress overwhelms the proper function of breathing. The word pranayama means "that which extends infinitely everywhere". It is the practice of prana or breath. The breath begins at an energy center inside and extends throughout the body to keep one alive. We exercise our bodies, but what about our breathing?
Balancing Acts: Keeping Work and Life in Equilibrium
In the fast-paced world that we live in today, it seems as though it's hard to find enough time to do everything that needs to be done. Days at work are long, but too often don't seem to be long enough? we bring home what we can't finish and end up creating highly stressful situations for those around us. Even worse, it seems like medical science is constantly finding new problems that are caused by overworking and the stress that results from it. If only there were some way to reduce the effects of this stress and make life more work-friendly (and vice versa)?
Stress Management and Mastery: 5 Tips for Positive Anger Management
A grandfather, whose grandson came to him angry at a schoolmate who had done him an injustice, said,
The Epidemic of the Eighties is Still Here
Is Worry Necessary?
Who hasn't experienced "worry" at one time or another? Almost everyone I'm sure. As a result many if not all consider this to be not only a normal human "emotion" but also a necessary fact of life. I would like to show here that in fact "worry" is completely unnecessary.
An ADD Case Study: When the Pace Picks Up, Learn to Slow Down
The fall season signals a shift in most people's minds. The summer is coming to a close, and it's back to school, work, and the other things that we haven't put as much effort into since Memorial Day. Many ADDers welcome this shift, as boredom sets in around August and we long for something bigger to keep us occupied. But while the opportunity to dive into new projects and situations is exciting, it can also become quickly overwhelming.
Permission to Play
At what age does the benefit of play cease? Child development experts agree that play is very important in the learning and emotional development of all children. But do we ever grow out of a need for play? I answer with an emphatic no. All the benefits of play continue into adulthood. Would you like to enjoy the following benefits daily?
Brain Diet : Right Diet prevents Memory Loss
These days, when people have become so conscious about what they eat and how it affects their body, they don't realize that eating same food helps their brain to grow and make it more healthy. According to studies, right diet can help prevent memory loss. Studies say right amount of diet is far more affective in memory-enhancement rather than all those expensive supplements.
Quick Steps On Handling Stress
Looking for some quick stress relief?
Deep Breathing ? How It Can Simultaneously Improve Health And Bring You Closer To Your Goals
I hope by reading this article you will see the value in being aware of your breath and also how it can have the potential to not only improve your internal health but also give you an instantly accessible tool to help you focus on those goals and ambitions you have been putting off. Be sure to try the simple exercise below also to get you started on developing your awareness of how (and where) you breathe.
Three Stress Relief Techniques
There is good stress, and there is bad stress. Good stress is the type that propels a person to excel, to reach new heights or to complete a big project on time.
Stress Management: Ditch Thinking or Destination Thinking
Imagine driving down the road. You are driving with a great amount of anticipation, on your way to an important destination, a place you have always wanted to go.
Anger Management: Is It Finally Time To Forgive?
In order to free ourselves from the pain of anger and resentment we need to be able to forgive our self and others. The longer we dwell on hurtful situations from the past, the longer we keep our self from living fully in the present. Forgiveness is an act of kindness. An act of kindness to your self, as it leads to a sense of personal freedom.
Stress Management: Declare Your Freedom From...
|© Athifea Distribution LLC - 2013|