Anger Management: Are You Able To Say Both Yes! And No! ?
I hear from many people that they see ever increasing expressions of anger in their everyday life. Understanding the process of anger is an important topic for all of us to take a closer look at.
If you take the time to delve deeper into your own anger, or resentment, you will often find that you are seriously limiting your ability to feel and express the full range of your emotions. In the process of limiting yourself, you become the victim of your emotions. You might be angry because you feel that someone else should be punished, but in the long run your anger will wind up punishing yourself. You might wind up resenting the way you are treated by others, but if you take a look you will usually find that your resentment limits your ability to feel happy in a more general sense.
If you feel stuck in a situation where you can only say "Yes" then your response will not come from your heart, and your response will not be supported by the emotions your body generates. When you feel unable to say "No" then you will likely find that no matter what you say verbally, "No" becomes the default response you want to give to others. You will likely find yourself even more frustrated as you understand on an emotional level that you are never sharing your true feelings. When you are able to speak the truth of both your "Yes" and "No" in a calm manner, you will find that you experience a sense of emotional freedom and well-being.
When it is all said and done, when we delve deeply into our emotions, we almost always find that our strongest and most habitual response is covering up other feelings that we are not fully aware of. We feel hurt, disrespected, abandoned, or sad, and we cover over these feelings and lose touch with them, by expressing anger or resentment instead.
When we find ways to tap into our deeper emotions we invariably find that we have been neglecting some form of pain or discomfort. When we neglect or simply don't notice our deeper emotional reactions, we lose the ability to express our full range of emotions. In the process we find that by consistently expressing only one segment of our entire emotional range, we limit our ability to be happy and feel at ease within ourselves and with those that we interact with.
It is important to remember that our emotions emanate from the body. When you are feeling angry, your body generates a specific set of reactions that inform your rational mind of your emotional experience. When you are feeling respected or loved your body generates a very different set of reactions. With Seishindo and other disciplines you can explore the process of how your body generates your emotional state and you can come to understand how at times you say one thing with your body and something rather different with your words. You can come to understand how you wind up confusing yourself when you say one thing with your heart and another with your logical mind. If you do wind up confusing yourself on a regular basis, you will find that your overall health and vitality suffer in the process.
Only when you feel like you have the right to say "No" can you truly engage your heart in saying "Yes." Only when your body and your rational mind communicate the same message in a congruent manner, will you find yourself feeling empowered and at ease. Take the time to gently explore your feelings and you will find that your emotional well-being resides deep inside yourself, waiting to be touched and acknowledged.
Charlie Badenhop is the originator of Seishindo, an Aikido instructor, NLP trainer, and Ericksonian Hypnotherapist. Benefit from his thought-provoking ideas and a new self-help Practice every two weeks, by joining 7,000 subscribers to his complimentary newsletter devoted to Seishindo Somatic Life Coaching. You are also invited to learn more about the Seishindo approach to Anger Management issues, which draws from the wisdom of Aikido as well as scientific research. Participating in Charlie's on Anger Management Workshop can help you adopt the wisdom of Aikido to achieve a peaceful victory over anger. © Charlie Badenhop, 2005. You have permission to publish this article electronically free of charge, as long as the bylines with the active links are included and you don't sell the article to others.
How To Stress Less and Smile More-The Six Fundamental Steps To Improved Health
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Busy Fish: Tips for Changing Your Day from Chaos to Calm
Syndicated columnist Dale Dauten recently wrote, "One of life's great joys that we've lost is that of the empty day, a day given over to quiet, to reading and contemplation. Our planners and PDAs give the illusion of importance and of being in control." A beautiful statement but what Dale doesn't acknowledge is that we've become such slaves to busyness and mental stimulation that spending "a day given over to quite" would drive most of us mad! It would be nothing short of a drug detox.
Beyond the Stress of Success - Access Your Thriving Zone
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Avoiding Stress During the Busy Holiday Shopping Season with eCardica.com
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Through Stress Comes Kindness
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Over 35 Ways of Controlling Stress: Absolutely Necessary to Control Smoking and Weight!
* Play Romane's stress control seminar recordings, and read "The Wellness Journey". * Use deep breathing exercises. * Make an appointment for deep muscle massage. * Tense up all parts of your body one at a time and let go and relax. * Exercise with a brisk walk, hike, swim, bicycle, go to a gym or buy or rent your own equipment. * Use self-hypnosis. Lie down and relax your body step by step. Remember a peaceful place in detail, using all your senses. Really be there in your imagination. * Meditate: sit quietly, eyes closed. Slowly focus over and over on one word such as "calm", or "peace", or "relax".* Talk to a friend, counsellor, minister, or physician. Follow your physician's advice! * Change your diet: less salt, less sugar, less alcohol, less fat, less meat, less coffee; more fluids, fruits, vegetables, whole grain cereals, and fish. Enjoy a balanced meal plan for proper nutrition. * Listen to relaxing nature sound recordings, New Age or Classical music which induces slower, deeper breathing. * Drive to a peaceful park, forest, beach, mountain or meadow. * Take the day off or go on vacation. * Phone your local hospital to find out when the next stress reduction class will be held. * Start a new hobby such as painting, ceramics, sailing, tennis, yoga, etc. * Be assertive, not aggressive. Take a self-assertion course at a school or university. * Have a warm bath at 92 degrees F. with pleasant bath oil. * Drink chamomile tea. * See a foot reflexologist for better circulation. * Listen to a comedy recording; watch a live comedy show or video. * Stretch. * Volunteer to help others for diversion; new activities; new friends. What will you have given during your lifetime? * Change your daily routine, dress, route to work, furniture arrangement, etc. * Set up a regular time to relax, a "relaxation break" instead of a coffee break. * Change your attitude. Why does the same event bother some people, but not others? You don't always have to be right. You have a choice. * Avoid over-scheduling yourself for too many tasks. * Avoid "keeping up with the Joneses".* Make a daily "to do" list to tackle items in order of priority. * Don't spend $100 worth of energy for a 10-cent problem. * Break down a major task into several small tasks. * Delegate work to others. * Set realistic goals. * Give compliments and enjoy taking compliments. * Never say, "I can't do this or that". You get what you think about. * Make a list of tension reducers and things to do "to get outside of yourself".* Make your personal and family life a priority over other demands. * Balance work with play, proper diet, sleep, exercise and relaxation. * Be thankful for your comfortable bed, friends, food, water, a chance to work, freedom, and many other blessings!
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