Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 29, 2003
I'm attracted to my manager. He was the one who showed his interest to me first by complimenting me and making wonderful eye contact. He is single and one year younger than me.
Until today he only asked me out one time and that was when a close friend of ours also attended the dinner and we had so much fun. Indeed I never gave him enough opportunity to approach closer because I was not sure if this was wise in terms of office ethics.
He has a good reputation in my company for his character, virtues, and moral values. For the past five months we have been working side by side on the same project. Sometimes we have a chance to talk friendly about our private lives, and once he told me he misses relationship opportunities since he hates to see himself chasing after women.
From what he told me I figured out he will never ask me for a private date because he is afraid it might be considered trying to seduce a woman working under his management. So today, after struggling by myself for many months, I offered to have a drink with him some night this week, and he accepted with great joy. Do you think I am doing something right?
Anjuli, work is a less artificial situation than dating, and it is hard to conceal who you really are in your daily work. Many happily married people met at work. There are, however, several things to keep in mind.
Dating someone at work also involves your livelihood, so you must respect this element. Keep your personal relationship out of the workplace. At work, focus on the job you are paid to do. Although you may want to share the joy of your new relationship with your coworkers, it is a joy they may not share. Would they be happy that you have a special relationship with your manager, and they do not?
Some will suspect your special connection with him will mean favorable treatment for you at their expense; others will suspect you of shirking your job responsibilities. In addition, what you might innocently say to one person may, after being repeated, turn into something else.
From the outset you need to realize if either of you does not wish to continue the relationship, then you will both be in the uncomfortable position of working side by side with someone you were once romantically involved with.
The outer attraction between you was too great for you to resist asking, and for him to resist accepting. You can minimize the risk by doing your job well, and if this turns out to be more than a job for you, we will be very happy for you.
Wayne & Tamara
Life Without Dessert
I'm entering a relationship with a great girl. She's sweet, she's beautiful, and we have the same interests. My only issue is her weight. She's not obese, but every time we go out to dinner she eats dessert. I'm sure it's a simple matter of eating habits and getting a little exercise. How do I bring this up without sounding like a jerk?
Gus, where have you been? Controlling weight is anything but a simple matter. Two-thirds of adult Americans are overweight. There are thousands of diet books, and some people even go to the extreme of having their stomach stapled because nothing else seems to work.
You can keep dating this girl in hopes she will become the weight you want, just as she could keep dating you in hopes you will become taller. But you each have about the same chance of success.
You want her to change her life, so you can feel better about dating her. That is shallow, and you know it. We are not going to tell you how to get away with it.
About The Author
Authors and columnists Wayne and Tamara Mitchell can be reached at www.WayneAndTamara.com.
Send letters to: Direct Answers, PO Box 964, Springfield, MO 65801 or email: DirectAnswers@WayneAndTamara.com.
Save the Planet with Your Joy!
Your own level of frequency raises or lowers the overall frequency of humanity, and because being at higher frequency equals the experience of joy, it is literally true that in order to raise up the world and deliver it from suffering, it is imperative that you are joyful! And most people think saving the world requires sacrifice and suffering! In fact, the very opposite is true. Indeed, the most magnanimous-and effective-thing you can possibly do for the planet and its inhabitants is to raise your frequency up out of pain and struggle to that of peace, joy, and ease so that the collective joy-level increases, thus lifting all out of pain and struggle. What a grand plan! We are personally rewarded beyond measure for doing what needs to be done. It is built into the Creator's Design.
20 Ways To Improve Your Life
People often ask me how they can improve their lives.
Charge Your Imagination (3)
As we progress into the year, it is necessary for professionals to really put their Imagination to work as they plot strategies for business excellence this year. To help them do a good job, IMAGINATION (as a person) started an inspirational message on Vision 2030. Here is the conclusion of the message.
Tsunamis in the Bible?
I have always wondered how the Red Sea parted as described in the Exodus story of Moses.
The Serpents Genesis 1 and 2
Not long after the beginning a being fell from the heavens to the earth. Even as the Spirit of God hovered overhead, the Serpent swam the waters below. As light divided from darkness, the Serpent chose the darkness, preferring it to the light. And the Serpent stalked the darkness of that first night.
Just the other day, I escaped the business of my daily life and sought refuge on the water front here in Montreal in an attempt to recharge my energies.
How To Walk On The Path Of Peace (Part 2)
If you are praying daily for wisdom, for peace, a fuller realization of Truth, for happiness and that which you are praying for is still far from you, then you are praying for one thing while living out in thought and action something else. Begin to think and act in the spirit of that which you seek, and expect it. You will day by day begin to experience the reality of what you are asking for, so that ultimately you will become one with them.
Where You Can Find Sympathy
Ask any of my kids and they'll tell you immediately that you'll find it in the dictionary between "sh-" and "syphilis". Wasn't that absolutely cruel and unkind of me to instill in them a nearly total distain for the concept of "sympathy"? With so many individuals in the world suffering in so many ways, how could I possibly be so heartless? I am without a doubt, an uncaring, evil SOB!
I Dare You To Be Successful
Just imagine how it would feel to be successful...., tohave sufficient money finding its way into your bankaccount on a monthly basis, to have absolutely no sleeplessnights about income and how you are going to pay all thebills at the end of the month. Just imagine how it wouldfeel to be able to take a vacation when you want to. Justimagine how it would feel to pay cash for your nextvehicle.......
The True and Magnificent Power of Giving
You've probably heard of the popular saying "It's better to give than to receive." But do you actually know what hidden power lies within this magnanimous act known as "giving?"
Time to Change the World!
Here's something you can do each day that will REALLY make a difference to provide:
Inspiring Values of Unforgettable Teachers
All of us recall special teachers - people who not only taught us but inspired us in ways that changed our lives. William Arthur Ward once said, "The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires." Here are five life-changing values inspired by unforgettable teachers.
DREAM IT, CREATE IT, BECOME IT
Anything That?s Worth Doing, Is Worth Doing Poorly
Yes you got it. You read it correctly. We're not out of our minds. We really are saying that "anything that's worth doing is worth doing poorly". When we found this quote by Joachim DePosada on the web site: The Gary Halbert Letter, it struck such a huge cord. It made such immediate sense to us. The more we looked the more we realised that our lives were built around this quote. What about yours?
Character is Whats Left When You Leave
1 Samuel 16:7
What Forgiveness Is Not
Is a grudge-laden heart sabotaging your success in business and in life?
Direct Answers - Column for the week of January 19, 2004
Direct Answers - Column for the week of December 13, 2004
Does Your Childhood Hold You Back?
Have you come to a point in your life and got stuck and unable to move on?
Psychic Sponge Syndrome: The Easy Inner-Centrifuge Remedy
Here's a nifty trick to use to clear yourself of any psychic "stuff" you may pick up as you move through the world. I learned the basic format for it from a woman who had the booth space adjacent to mine at a tradeshow. Being someone who had not yet mastered the art of being open-hearted without sponging up the energy of others, I was walking around like a zombie on day two of the show, after having been immersed in the circus of conflicting energies the day before . My booth neighbor asked me what was going on with me, as I was obviously not as radiant as I had been on day one. When I explained that I had soaked up too much chaotic energy and didn't know how to rid myself of it, she said, "Oh. You just need to spin it off." And I said, "Cool! HOW?!"
|© Athifea Distribution LLC - 2013|