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"If unresolved anger is a toxin to the spirit, forgiveness is the antidote." - Brian L. Seaward

Recently I caught a portion of a television show about individuals working to make changes in their lives. The particular portion that I viewed dealt with two sisters that had not spoken to each other in five years. Due to some misunderstanding in their past, both sisters were angry and unable to forgive each other.

Why is it so difficult for us to forgive? It is a common belief that forgiving someone that has hurt us, (or we assume has hurt us), is the same as being a victim again. We hang onto our anger and resentment as an illusion of control. But instead of controlling the other person, we are harming ourselves. As Brian Seaward says: "Forgiveness is not something you do for someone else, it is something you do for yourself. Forgiveness sets you free again." After five years of being stuck in anger and self-contempt, the two sisters in this show were finally able to forgive themselves and each other. You could see the relief and release of tension in their bodies as they forgave and shed the burden they had carried for so long.

Each time we hold anger and resentment in our hearts, we are giving our power away. We are staying stuck in the past. The strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive another person or oneself. On average, individuals become angry 15 times per day primarily due to unmet expectations. Think of the amount of poison and personal power loss we experience, if we hold onto anger as a result of these occurrences! Living with resentment keeps us stuck, while forgiveness helps us move forward.

Forgiveness is a choice. It is an internal act of the heart. Are you willing to continue wasting your energy and your health by holding anger that impacts only you? If your answer is 'NO", then release the anger and reclaim your power. Who benefits the most from forgiveness? You do!

Like the two sisters, are you harboring any old resentments or anger? Ask yourself if there are any old resentments that are stealing your power today. Where are you stuck in the past? Practice forgiveness by starting with small hurts. Consciously make the decision to unburden and detach yourself from any painful past memories and choose to live in the present. Give yourself this gift!

Vicki Miller / Copyright August 2005

As a Life Transition Coach I work with clients to identify what's most important to them and prioritize around these values. I help my clients identify and remove obstacles in their way and bring clarity and focus to their dreams. What is your dream? Are you undergoing a major transition and not clear where to turn? Call (972-306-4489) or email me, (, to set up a complimentary, no obligation 30 minute telephone coaching session. Download my FREE e-Book, 12 Fun Ways to Change Your Life, or sign up for my FREE monthly newsletter at

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