Self-Validation: Living an Empowered Life
Sometimes we are concerned with being right and we don't stop to think that our comments or our actions might hurt another person's feelings.
We don't always get enough validation in this world, or perhaps we did not receive enough validation from our parents and our teachers and the people who were around us when we were growing up, so we try to be right and find validation now in this world, sometimes at the expense of other people.
It is okay to have a different opinion from another person. But it is not our job or responsibility to try to convince everybody else that they are either wrong or that they have an inaccurate perception of a certain subject. We have enough to do just trying to keep ourselves on the straight and narrow.
If you're going to say anything that's critical, try to find the sweetest way, the least insulting way to present your point of view. In doing so, you are more likely to get a favorable response from the other party. Nobody is going to pay attention to you, or validate what you are saying if they feel attacked. And validation is what you are looking for after all, isn't it?
Sometimes in our youth we think that we know everything. Sometimes we find out later that we did not know everything after all. Ouch.
As we mature we may begin to realize that we don't require validation from anyone else. That is just living in victim mode. We are powerless and everyone else but us has power over us. WRONG!
When we accept responsibility for our lives and our choices, and we give ourselves permission to become self-validating, we no longer seek nor need validation from anyone else.
However, we need to be very clear with ourselves about how high we set the bar as far as ethics go. Don't cheat yourself by placing that bar too low, or you never really will achieve the self-esteem and the self-validation that you seek because it will be based on standards that are inadequate.
When we show humility and humbleness, we become empowered. It's through being non-offensive, tolerant, and truly caring of others that we can gain the most respect from the people around us. There's an old saying that you attract more flies with honey than with vinegar. It's also true that you attract more friends and respect with sweetness than with bitterness.
It's interesting to note that the kinder we are to others, the better we feel about ourselves. And you will find that people will tell you how much they appreciate your kindness and your thoughtfulness. It will make you unique in this world. This world is a harsh place sometimes. When you can be a safe space of healing, of love, of non-judgment, you will discover your greatest power. Your energy will shift into a magnetic state. You will find that good luck and love will flow to you while you are in that state.
By practicing The Golden Rule, as the old saying goes, doing unto others as you would have them do unto you, you'll find that your life begins to work, and the things that you desire to have in your life will begin to appear.
It's by living by The Golden Rule that all things become possible. It's by working through the heart rather than the head that true power is found. You need to be thinking correctly, that is true. But you need to be kind and considerate and loving, to yourself and to others, in order to become empowered in this world. It is from that state that others will find you attractive and will be drawn to you in both business and personal situations. You cannot give out love and kindness to the world without receiving the same back yourself. What you give is what you receive.
Having earned the right to self-validate, be generous and spread around lots of validation to others in your life. Living an empowered and self-validating existence has caused you to become a role-model and someone that others can look up to. Teach and show them the way so that they, too, can always have the validation that we all seek.
Copyright © 2005 Sherry Sims
Sherry Sims has spent the last 20 years assisting people as a professional psychic, intuitive counselor, energy healer and teacher. Helping people to resolve personal and relationship issues has been at the core of her work. She gently assists her clients to accept their true power which allows them to begin taking control of their lives through healing, awareness, and self-love.
To learn more about creating happiness and fulfillment in your life you will want to sign up for her free newsletter: SIMPLE MAGIC ? Creating the Life You Want.
For more articles by Sherry Sims please visit http://Mystic-Hearts.com
Problems Arent Bad After all!
At first glance, when tough times hit, it seems the world around you is crashing down. You're surrounded by a sea of problems, threatening to engulf you any minute from now. A second, more discerning glance however, could reveal a totally different, even exciting perspective! Could God be the author of your "problems?"
Borne Upon the Wings of Words
How often do you have opportunities every day to exercise your power of communication--encouraging a coworker, appreciating a spouse, guiding a child?
Direct Answers - Column for the week of June 2, 2003
Who is My Mother?
Text: Matthew 12:46-50, Mark 3: 31-35, Luke 8:19
The Seasons Of Life, Part 3 of 5
This week is part three of our five part series on The Season's of Life.
The Art of Letting Go
It has been six months since I left the corporate world ? and there are some things I will always miss. Like saying good morning to colleagues on my way to the office where I worked every day. Or getting caught in the excitement as we prepared for another big meeting or presentation.
Look To Trees To Help You Keep Balanced And Focused While Achieving Your Dreams
Do you remember looking up through the branches of a beautiful, leafy tree, on a warm sunny day? How the sunlight filtering through the lush greeness, seemed to take on an almost magical quality?
Shame and Guilt: A World of Difference
Learning to distinguish between two powerful emotions - superficially very similar but in practice, very different - is essential not only for healthy self-esteem but for fulfilling interpersonal relationships.
Inspiring Values of Unforgettable Teachers
All of us recall special teachers - people who not only taught us but inspired us in ways that changed our lives. William Arthur Ward once said, "The mediocre teacher tells. The good teacher explains. The superior teacher demonstrates. The great teacher inspires." Here are five life-changing values inspired by unforgettable teachers.
My Lost Immortality
Oh my God, I'm not immortal anymore! What happened? Where's my neverending youth? My long summers? My bright future?
The Cracked Pot
Letters on Life#3
Improving Your Self Esteem
Often in our society, we are bombarded with the lives of celebrities. We can end up feeling that if we are not part of the rich and famous, our lives are insignificant. Our society also sends a message of competition and achievement. We watch sports, we always hear about profit and the bottom line being the dollar, we see large companies competing and constantly buying each other out.
Take Out Time -- To Just Be Thankful
While sitting here tonight, watching the conclusion of "There Are No Children Here," my heart pulsated as I heard a little innocent boy say, "When I wake up in the morning, I feel good that God gave me another chance to stay alive." This statement as innocent as it was, was true to him because of where he lived, and the lethal possibilities that he faced daily of being killed by someone's bullet.
Why Be Great?
Have you ever thought of what it would take to make you "truly great" at what you do?
Are We There Yet?
In a recent disaster, a man was asked why he wouldkeep searching for a loved one, even when he knewthere was little hope of any survivors. He was toldrepeatedly, the chances of finding anyone still alivewere very slim.
Each Moment Is To Be Treasured
Let us grasp and treasure each precious moment of our lives. The previous moment is gone and the next is on its way. In truth, all we ever really have is this exact, precise moment in time.
Get On with Your LIfe
You've lost your job, that's all you know, and you don't have money to go to school. Get on with your life. You sunk all the money you have into an internet business and haven't made a dime. Get on with your life. You say that you are broke and homeless have no education and no hope. Get on with your life.
Save the Planet with Your Joy!
Your own level of frequency raises or lowers the overall frequency of humanity, and because being at higher frequency equals the experience of joy, it is literally true that in order to raise up the world and deliver it from suffering, it is imperative that you are joyful! And most people think saving the world requires sacrifice and suffering! In fact, the very opposite is true. Indeed, the most magnanimous-and effective-thing you can possibly do for the planet and its inhabitants is to raise your frequency up out of pain and struggle to that of peace, joy, and ease so that the collective joy-level increases, thus lifting all out of pain and struggle. What a grand plan! We are personally rewarded beyond measure for doing what needs to be done. It is built into the Creator's Design.
Anamchara - Living An Essential Life
What is essential in your life? This question contains one of the most important words an question can address. This is the word "essence." To know your "essence" is to live the mystery of life rather than the illusion of "your life."
Fear, Faith, and Believing vs. Knowing
Fear is deeply rooted in uncertainty. Think about it; the only you've ever feared was the unknown. All fear and fears humans have experienced and continue to experience is rooted in uncertainty. A drive in an unfamiliar place can prompt fear, an unknown result, a stranger behind you, or a dark alley.
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