The Power of Perspective

You limit yourself. Yes, it is true. Each day you behave in muchthe same way as you have always done. You act out your habitualways of dealing with people, and you communicate as well or asbadly as you normally do.

Although you know better, you do not apply all that you havelearned when it comes to making the most of yourself. If this istrue for you, then how are you going to improve?

Awareness is key. Until you spot what you are doing you will notknow where to make changes to how you talk to people. How can youchange what needs to be improved if you do not see it yourself?

There is a very simple way to generate awareness of how youbehave with other people. A way to develop perspective that isnot clouded by your biased perceptions.

Three Steps to Powerful Perspective:

1 Be a neutral observer

Choose a recent conversation you had which did not go as well asyou would have liked. Next, pretend for a moment that you are aneutral observer of the conversation. In your imagination go backin time to that incident and see yourself talking to that otherperson. Picture the surroundings, hear the sounds and feel theatmosphere of the place.

Then run through the entire conversation again, only this timeimagine that you are the neutral observer. See yourself and theother person talking and listening to each other and notice thedynamics of the conversation. Pay special attention to the nonverbal reactions.

By doing this you will be gathering a lot of information thatwill be helpful in noticing what works and what does not work inyour communication.

2 Be the other person

Revisit the conversation again only this time cycle through itas if you were the other person. Imagine what it was like to bethere looking at you and listening to you. You are now walking intheir shoes so as to get a close up look at what it is like todeal with you.

You may find that you spot the reasons why the conversation didnot go as well as you would have liked.

3 Ask yourself - how did I get the result I achieved?

In this stage of the process you put the responsibility on yourshoulders alone for the outcome of the conversation. Blamingothers will not help you to think creatively for solutions andways to better your conversational skills.

Revisit that conversation one more time as the neutral observerand one time as the other person. In each case look for theanswer to the question: how did I get this result? Then askyourself: what could I do differently to get what I really want?

You will discover ways to change your approach that candramatically improve how you communicate when it matters most.

By using this approach I often spot opportunities to use moreemphasis on key points and the value of being enthusiastic when Iwant someone to consider my opinion. At other times I notice thatI could listen more carefully instead of just getting carriedaway with my own agenda.

Peter Murphy is a freelance business writer. He publishes a freeweekly ezine full of practical tips for communicating at yourbest under pressure. All new subscribers receive a free e-bookwith powerful strategies for being at your best.